A turkey is more occult and awful than all the angels and archangels. In so far as God has partly revealed to us an angelic world, He has partly told us what an angel means. But God has never told us what a turkey means. And if you go and stare at a live turkey for an hour or two, you will find by the end of it that the enigma has rather increased than diminished.
G.K. Chesterton
I don't recall ever seeing a football post here.
Turns out it's open season on the Redskins.
Be careful not to speed in Washington D.C.; the police are handing out
Redskins tickets.
Q: What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: What do you call 47 people watching an NFL playoff game on TV?
A: The Washington Redskins.
Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and the Redskins?
A: O.J. Simpson at least had a defense.
Announcement from public address system at FedEx Field:
"Will the parents who lost your eleven kids here at the stadium please
come get them? They are beating the Redskins 14-0."
Q: What do the Redskins and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl Ring?
A: A thief.
Q: Why was Steve Spurrier upset when the Redskins' playbook was stolen?
A: He wasn't finished coloring in it yet.
"Two other donkeys - one pulling a rocket launcher and another rigged to a bomb - were found within hours, one 30 yards from the Italian Embassy. U.S. officials said the targets were the headquarters of a Kurdish political party and a law school."
If Leno and Letterman don't make fun of these people for using ass-delivered missiles, they should be thrown in jail.
1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?
1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.
What is his profit?
1970:
A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as the subset of set M and answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels "feel" as the logger cuts down the trees? There are no wrong answers.
2000:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?
And only 30 until St. Nicholas Day, if you like to give presents then!
Here's a cute item: the Nuns Having Fun calendar.
