John Schultz: July 2003 Archives

Nihil Obstat has not seen my glaring typo in this post. Gordon Zaft gets the award for pointing out in the comment boxes.

To which I say: Yee-haw! Everyone loves Angus!

Parish shopping is now a favorite pasttime in the AmChurch. In the suburbs, where proximity and Sunday morning traffic lend itself to traveling to another parish, all sorts of folks shop around before settling in and registering at a parish. Here in northern VA we have all kinds of parishes:
McParish - no organ, big piano, Marty Haugen all the time.
St. Schola Cantorum - "Verbum Domini"
Our Lady of K thru 8 - popular with parents of small children that don't want them in public school
St. Gerontius - mostly older folks with light organ music
St. Snugglepuss and Companions - the "When's Vatican III?" parish

You get the idea. And it's not uncommon for someone who lives in St. Schola's boundaries to drive 30 minutes to St. Snugglepuss. Similiarly - someone who could walk to McParish ends up driving downtown to get to St. Schola because they hate guitars.

And in some ways, I can't blame them. Particularly parents who want their kids in a Catholic school should explore those options. There's genuine issues that prevent active, prayerful participation at Mass. But at the same time there's some really bad reasons for not going to a particular parish.

Bad Reasons:
"I don't get a feeling of community at Parish X."
Feelings are for sissies. I'm only slightly kidding. There's a "U" in community and you need to engage people at a parish, pray and perhaps even get involved in some form of ministry. And you need to realize the primary function of a parish is the sacraments. Some people think the Mass is all about friendship and hugs and warmth and that's like being offered a 5 course gourmet dinner and telling the offeror you'd rather have a Happy Meal.

"That pastor/associate is too "
And that something is usually liberal, conservative or unfriendly. Meaning, it drives you nuts that the priest preaches about birth control. Or the priest messes with the text of the eucharist prayers. I have no patience with people who can't take getting preached at about moral issues. I have only a little patience with people that totally come unglued when a priest differs from the rubrics. Granted, I've been to Mass where the priest was all over the place. That's very bad. But are you really going to let Fr. Loosey-Goosey ruin your day? Make you drive to a new parish?

Those are the major bad reasons. Chime in if you have others.

From the comment box from my recent post about the antics of visiting priest:

I'm intrigued by the notion that the best way we can show support for the church is to ignore liturgical abuses. Why?

I don't believe this and didn't say it. Here's more detail to clarify.

Overall, I think there's some people that exhibit such anxiety about liturgical abuses and other quirky things that happen at Mass that it borders on sinfulness. I have a friend of mine who says if there's any latin at Mass, it ruins his day. Forget about a Novus Ordo Mass - he gets upset if you chant the Angus Dei. He fumes. He fusses. And it does ruin his day.

The flip side of it is the folks that go nuts when there's any deviation from the norm. These people have dog-eared copies of Mass Confusion at the ready. The appendix of that book is very helpful if you want to tally the score at any given Mass.

So here's point number one: if you are really focused on tallying the score one way or another, you are probably not having effective prayer time, and you are less disposed to receive the grace of the Eucharist. I say "focused" because it's the liturgical gladiators that go to Mass in order to critique it. And anyone who is as involved in the liturgy as I am (in my capacity as a choir director) is in danger of becoming a liturgical gladiator.

The gladiator lives for the fight. Either the GIRM is at the ready, or Environment and Art in Catholic Worship has been committed to memory. Toe to toe, the traditionalist doesn't want hands held during the Our Father and "When's Vatican III?" person gets all upset that a gaggle of ladies from the parish isn't carrying rainbow banners in the procession. This focus makes the liturgy an ocassion of division. I could list many, many things that annoy me at liturgies. That could be fun, but if I'm focused on that at Mass, it's not good prayer time.

I know a music director and liturgist who lives by this rule: don't say anything about the liturgy or the music for a given Mass for at least 30 minutes after. If it's still important to you after that, go ahead and have the discussion. It's a good rule that keeps people from being at each other's throats.

I'm not saying that problems shouldn't be pointed out, discussed, and resolved or it's ok for some parishes to differ from the GIRM. I am saying that the liturgy can be the golden calf of the folks who want to have it their way. The reason I didn't complain too much about the visiting priest was I wasn't willing to walk up to him after Mass and say - "Hey, Father. The GIRM specifically states that the Orans position is reserved for the priest. Teaching small children to do that during the Our Father is ill-advised and something we don't do at this parish." or "Father - we don't even let the extraordinary ministers of the eucharist enter the sanctuary until communion time. So it's odd that you'd have all the children come up for the entire Eucharistic prayer." He's a visiting priest. He'll be gone in a week or so and we'll be back to the norm.

And maybe I should have said something. I was angry but also knew it would be over for us when he gets on a plane to go home. I would have approached the situation in a totally different way had it been a priest that was here to stay (that's why we have monthly Worship Commission and Liturgy Committee meetings.) And at those meetings I need to choose my battles depending on how severe the situation is.

More clear?

Related topic: Parish Shopping. More on that another time.

I'm sure there's enough "liturgical abuse" stories out there to keep the traditionalists up all night with the shakes.

I had decided a few weeks ago to try never to complain about a liturgy because in the grand scheme there's many more things out there that should have our attention and help bring more souls to Christ. Still, I need to vent and get some feedback... Read on if you're interested...

Would you rather have live bombing exercises conducted by the US Navy on a remote, desolate part of the island, or $250M in the local economy driven by the presence of the Navy base there?

Don't think too long, because the choice was made due to a powerful lobbying effort made by people who don't live there.

From the Washington Times: End of live bombing at Vieques makes base, jobs expendable

After a long plane ride back from the middle east, Eric is at a Marine base in the USA! I wonder if he can use those airline miles on United...

He should be home to Paige and his 3 kids in the next day or so. Keep them all in your prayers please.

I just got a Dr. Watson error that was generated by drwtsn.exe. That is a very bad sign.

I just received word from Eric's wife that he's on a plane home. He'll be refueling in Spain and making a day-long stop at a Marine base before arriving home. Congrats to our very own marine, who made a huge sacrifice to help the cause of freedom!

You can find out here.

Missing Girl Found Asleep Under Toys

I'll start:
Helen is saying, "Ari - my car is parked right outside... now that you're free from professional obligations I think it's high time we have a date. You've been giving me the eye ever since you started here 3 years ago."
Ari is thinking, "Can I have my job back?"

3 democratic presidential candidates couldn't make it to the NAACP Convention for a debate. You know what that makes them?

"persona non grata" in the black community, NAACP President Kweisi Mfume said... "Your political capital is the equivalent of Confederate dollars," he added.

Just goes to show that some folks are not above using racially-charged rhetoric any time it suits them.

Imagine if they had skipped the Culture of Poland Festival:

"Their support of the Polish-American community isn't worth the leftovers of my kielbasa sandwich" said John Barkowowski, the Festival Chairperson, as his cousin Lenny snatched the plate from Mr. Barkowowski's hands and devoured the leftovers in one bite. "Hey! I was going to eat that!" John exclaimed. "It's like the Panzers overran my hopes of advancing the interest of Polka dancers everywhere."

Dear PETA:

I love animals. They're delicious!

Regards,

John Schultz

My wife Teresa is in the cosmetic and fragrance business. One of the products her company makes is a lotion that helps relieve razor burn. Every now and then, she looks at my neck and says, "You still using that Razor Burn Relief? Because right now, you're not a good advertisement for me."

I normally don't think of myself as an advertisement, it seems a little cheap and cheesy. But the business of advertising and sales is alot like evangelization - it's something that can be lost of some of the most sincere Catholics. Every day is an opportunity to meet and have an impact on people that are not living fully in Christ.

I'm writing these tips because I've been running into people who are good, active Catholics but aren't going to get people to buy what they are selling. It's not a holiness issue, it's a communication issue. Here's Tip one:

...Sausage!

Does your parish only seat 150 people?
Does everyone seem to know everyone by name?
Is everyone in approximately the same age group?
Is everything sung as though it's the last selection before Christ returns in glory?
Does the congregation burst into memorized songs during Communion?
Does everyone pal-around before Mass and linger afterwards?
Does just about everyone participate in some form of ministry involving the general operation of the parish?

If you answered yes to more than one of the questions above, you probably attend a Boutique Parish.

A music director I know recently went to a Mass at St. Boutique's. She enthusiastically told me about it: everyone sang the roof off, everyone memorized the words, people were very friendly, it was so inspiring...

The boutique experience is great, but there's a problem:

Beard.

I shaved my beard this morning while my wife watched in dismayed curiosity: "What will my husband look like without a beard? I've never seen him without a beard."

And the answer is: younger, rounder, whiter. I will need to get some sun on my face this weekend.

My wife says she's looking forward to spending time with her new man tonight... I guess that's good.

I would love to know what people think of this:

A Biblical Tax Policy? One Governor Says Yes

Alabama's conservative Republican governor has created a new convergence of faith and politics. Citing his Christian faith, he's calling for a $1.2 billion tax hike, largely on the backs of wealthier taxpayers, for the benefit of the poor.

"Alabamians are a faithful people who believe that creating a better world for our children and helping our neighbors are both sacred duties," Riley wrote in explaining his tax plan.

Bishop Sean O'Malley named new Archbishop of Boston

I have met Bishop O'Malley several times as he is a great supporter of a community of Youth Ministers I used to be involved with, the Youth Apostles. I found him to be a very holy man. He speaks several languages. Squeaky clean. Possible Pope material, if I can be candid.

There are much, much better days coming for Boston.

This quote speaks volumes:

"The Rev. Richard McBrien, a liberal theologian at the University of Notre Dame, said despite all the kudos O'Malley has won for his response to clergy sex abuse, he is still a conservative priest who would be 'uncritically loyal to the Holy See and would not veer one millimeter from its policies and teachings on anything.'"

Despite all the kudos?

It's a wonderful vote of confidence when a liberal theologian calls another priest "uncritically loyal to the Holy See."

Here's the AP pic: