Preface: Charlie, my 5.5-year-old son, is fascinated with "Spider-Man," though of course we won't let him see either of the movies (not because they're bad -- we own them both -- but because he's way too young.) The following is an actual conversation about "Spider-Man 2":
Charlie: Daddy, does Dr. Octopus die in the end?
Me: Yes, he does.
C: How come?
M: He drags his science experiment into the river so it won't blow up and hurt lots of people.
C: Why did he die?
M: Because that was the only way to stop the experiment.
C: I thought he was bad.
M: Yeah, but he turned good at the very end and decided to save all those people.
C: [thinks a moment] I guess Dr. Octopus had to spend a lot of time in inventory.
M: In what?
C: Inventory.
M: What are you talking about?
C: You know, the place where Jesus fixes you before you go to heaven.
M: Oh, you mean purgatory.
C: Yeah, purgatory.
M: Right, Dr. Octopus would probably have to go there.
Inform young Charlie we should all take "inventory" of the day and do an act of contrition before we go to bed! I think that will shorten our stay in Purgatory - God willing we make it to Purgatory.
I don't have to tell him -- he already does it. At the beginning of their night prayers, Charlie and Anna think of bad things they did that day, and then we say the Kyrie.
Hey, that last sentence rhymed....
Hey, your son's got the makings of a fine moralist film critic there. Gimme custody of him for one year, or at least the power to program his movie-watching habits ... please, please, please.
After a year with Dreyer, Von Trier, Bergman, Rohmer, Haneke, Herzog, Ophuls, Leone, Stillman, Hitchcock, Kubrick, Keaton, Sturges and Wilder, he'll be ... a new man.
Is it too much to hope that Charlie and Anna say the Kyrie in the original language?
You count Doc Ock out way too soon. C'mon, show me the body. Did anybody find the body?
The 2nd generation Green Goblin's comin' back for another show, so I doubt Doc is far behind.
Now, if we could just get Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Caped Crusader (Michael Keaton version) to take on the DNC... Think about it: Barbara Boxer in a 15 round winner takes all smackdown with Wolverine. Ah, that's entertainment!
Victor - you left off Joe Bob Briggs. I met him once in college. Very down to earth kinda guy.
Victor: stay away from my kids! ;)
Not only do Charlie and Anna say the Kyrie in Greek sometimes -- after Father Poumade celebrated Mass in Latin last Sunday, they insisted on saying it in the original.
Mark W.:
Although I like Joe Bob Briggs fine (my tastes are a bit ... uh ... artier ... than his), I don't think I left him off a list of film directors.
Eric:
Just one afternoon ... with Michael Haneke's FUNNY GAMES, and they'll be permanently scarred.
Seriously though, there are far-worse things you could show a precocious 5-year-old than the silent comedies of Buster Keaton (or Harold Lloyd or Charlie Chaplin) -- though they have to accept on faith the "silent" premise. But the films are easy to follow, with simple, elemental and usually timeless stories; the 10- and 20-minute shorts won't tax the attention span; they have a recognizably typed "hero" like Barney or Big Bird (and an admirable one, particularly in Buster and Harold's cases); they're not LOUD or rude or crass or a disguised commercial; if any of their great-grands are still alive, it could link provide a concrete link to their world -- "it's what Nana watched on TV."
That's not a bad idea. I should try showing silent movies to them -- they just might like it. Over a year ago, the older kids and I were at the American History museum, and we walked past a TV showing "Steamboat Willie," the original Mickey Mouse cartoon. I thought they'd just pass by, but they insisted on watching three times until I finally dragged them away.
? terre is located close to mortgage the present-day motorway) to credit counseling Ballardian ideas about consumerist credit counseling rates landscapes and the "transcendental _ boredom" they invoke (Ballard refinancing himself appears in the film) loan free to conspiracy theories and the online loan relief omnipresence of camera surveillance refinance help on and around the motorway. (The refinancing single most compelling sequence loans online