Bush's Five-Fingered Canadians

Like I do every month, here's the unedited December installment of Canons and Culture -- the monthly column I write for the Wanderer:

Of Canons and Culture
President Bush’s Five-Fingered Canadians

Pete Vere

Had the President arrived a day later, it would have been–if I may borrow an expression from Ann Coulter – like Christmas in December Of course the five thousand anti-Bush hooligans who gathered on Parliament Hill would disagree. Strangely, I counted more New Yorkers than native Canadians among this collage of radical rejects from the 1960's, proponents of failed ideologies, and, I kid you not, Belly Dancers Against Bush.

Yet this last group deserves some credit for bearing (or perhaps baring is the more appropriate verb) a winter protest in the world’s coldest capital. Still, one could easily mistake the anti-Bush festivities as the illegitimate offspring of an All Hallow’s Eve party hosted by Ed Wood and a Soviet era May Day celebration. Or a typical day in the French legislature. And before I forget, this was mid-wived with the seriousness of Ground Hog Day.

But it revealed an important truism of modern Canadian politics–besides that we’re the only country taken less seriously in international politics than France. This hardly surprised most Canadian conservatives who pine for the days when our military projected a more fearsome reputation than the Vatican Swiss Guard. But returning to the topic at hand, this truism is that young conservatives make up Canada’s new anti-establishment.

For example, one particularly brave student sported the following on her placard: “Yo Hippy Shouldn’t you be working?” While I sympathize with this young lady, her question is more rhetorical than fair. Work, and not Bush, is the real four-letter vulgarity that this leftist coalition of political protesters, professional perverts, and pot-smoking poets finds offensive. After all, nothing frightens this Coalition of the Unemployable more than the real world. And there are only so many jobs within Canada’s activist judiciary, the ivory basement of Canadian academia, and the morally incoherent–not to mention culturally irrelevant–Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC). For our American readers, the CBC is Canada’s closest equivalent to NPR, but with a liberal bias that even Dan Rather would find obvious and objectionable.

Using the right side of your brain, you can imagine this was not the welcome we Canadian conservatives wished to extend to the President. Given that this was Mr. Bush’s first official visit to our nation, and given the presence of the First Lady, Connie Wilkins and Mark Fournier set about organizing a pro-Bush rally in Canada’s capital region.

Connie and Mark are the co-founders of FreeDominion.ca. This makes them two of Canada’s most popular conservative activists as FreeDominion.ca is the official Canadian sister site to FreeRepublic. This couple is a rare breed among Canada’s political conservatives; one easily distinguishes them from Arlen Specter. In other words, FreeDominion.ca is among the few secular Canadian media outlets that welcomes social conservative and provides us with a voice within a larger conservative community.

“Given some of their negative past experiences,” Connie explained to me during an recent interview, “Canadian social conservatives tend to shy away from political activity. We need to change this. We must give social conservatives a fair voice in the process. Canada’s conservative movement cannot be making its tent smaller if we hope to make political inroads and take back our country.”

“The Internet is our free speech in Canada,” Connie subsequently added. “Liberals control much of the mainstream Canadian media, which is why FreeDominion.ca is a growing website. We’ve registered 4500 members in just under four years. I belong to the Salvation Army, and I see great potential for co-operation between social conservatives from various religious backgrounds. This includes Catholics. Protecting traditional marriage, the children in our womb, and the family – we all agree these issues are essential to a healthy, functioning, and moral society.”

Having received our marching orders from Connie, a group of us from FreeDominion.ca showed up at the airport to welcome President Bush. A handful of Americans from upstate New York and a trucker passing through from Nevada also braved the cold to join us. Since they were not rioting hooligans from New York City, and since this was politics and not hockey, we welcomed them with open arms.

About half an hour later, the presidential motorcade left the airport hangar. We stood within fifteen feet of the vehicles. Recognizing the presidential seal on Mr. Bush’s limo, we started chanting Bush The President seemed a little taken aback at first, but then a big Texas grin spread across his face. He slowed down the limo, stopped waving and gave us the big thumb's up. I cannot describe what we felt as beleaguered young conservatives in Canada. Some twenty-something mother pointed the president out to her toddler and said: That's what a real political leader looks like. He's pro-life. You won’t find these in Canada.

During the press conference that followed the President’s visit to the Canadian Parliament, some graceless reporter–probably from the CBC–confronted Mr. Bush about the number of protesters. I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable,” the President grinned, “and I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave — with all five fingers.”

Connie and Mark had joined my wife and me at the local pub for lunch. As the press conference flashed across the television, we heard President Bush’s aforementioned comment. A big smile crossed each of our faces. Thanks to FreeDominion.ca, Canadian political conservatism is on the rise.