I bought my lunch at Safeway today and heard this exchange between two employees:
Employee 1: "What was wrong with that guy?"
Employee 2: "I think he was a little inebriated."
Employee 1: [dumb look on face]
Employee 2: "You know..." [hand to mouth gesture]
Employee 1: "Oh. It's funny you thought that, because I thought he was drunk."
Do you remember that Louis Jordan song, "Open the Door, Richard"? It depicts a drunk standing on the street yelling up to his roommate to let him in.
Louis Jordan: I saw ole Richard on the street the other night. That cat sho was booted with liquid.
Other Guys in Band: He was WHAT?
LJ: He was Obnoxicated.
OGIB: He was WHAT?
LJ: He was in-eeeeeebriated.
OGIB: He was WHAT?
LJ: He was DRUNK!
OGIB: Well, all right then!
And the song goes downhill from there. One other memorable line: "Richard" says, "I hate being caught out on the street like this 'cos it looks so common. And I know I ain't common, 'coz I got class I ain'never used yet. I sho wouldn't want my pastor to see me like this."
A friend of mine used to sell Clinique cosmetics at the local department store. She reported that a work colleage said, "You won't believe what happened to me at the club last night. A eunuch asked me to dance."
My friend: "How the $**$%*% did you know he was a eunuch? Pull down his pants?"
Other girl: "I didn't have to pull down his pants. He was in a wheelchair, stupid!"
That's funny!
John,
if you'll shoot me an E-mail, I'll send you a copy of the Luzzi Ave Maria..