Husbands, Wives and St. Paul

It feels great to be back at Catholic Light after holding down the fort at Envoy Encore last week while the rest of my Encore blogmates were away. That being said, I want to weigh in on the current St. Blog debate over husbands, wives and mutual submission to one another in marriage. As I mentioned to some of you, my thoughts on this subject were expressed in an article I co-authored with my friend Jacqueline Rapp, who is also a parent and a lay canonist. Here are the relevant paragraphs:

We are all familiar with St. Paul’s following injunction: “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.” (Eph 5: 22-24.) In the past, this scriptural passage has unfortunately been used to excuse everything from domestic violence to the subjection of women within the institution of marriage.

Yet within the context of St. Paul’s writings, it touches upon the matrimonial theology of partnership, mutual welfare of the spouses, and communion of life and love. The verse prefacing this passage is clear; “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Eph. 5: 21.) As is the passage that comes afterward: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [...] Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church...” (Eph. 5: 25, 28-29.)

In short, the marital partnership is implicit in St. Paul’s injunction that husbands and wives be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Similarly, communion of life and love is implied within this passage. St. Paul teaches that a husband’s love to which a wife subjects herself should be a self-sacrificing reflection of how Christ loves the Church. For just as Christ laid down His life for the Church out of a deep love for us, so too should a husband lay down his life for his wife if love requires it. Obviously, such a tremendous love rules out domestic violence, belittling and other forms of marital abuse. For one should never abuse and belittle one’s own flesh.