What Canon Law Taught Me About Teen Courtship

Admittedly, I wrote the piece by accident. I was hanging around on Onerock.com -- the coolest teen Catholic site on the net -- when some of the girls began asking me

Granted, this contradicts our traditional Catholic notion of chivalry within courtship, but my tribunal experience has hardened me to the point where, given our present cultural expectations, I believe a little adjustment to the custom of courtship is warranted. Basically guys were originally expected to pay the girl's way because this offered the girl an opportunity to assess the guy as a potential provider. Unfortunately, our culture has now degenerated to the point where instant gratification may be purchased. If a girl pays her own way, and among teens experiencing dating for the first time there is no reason why she should not, a guy is less likely to expect something in return.

On the other hand, a girl should never pay a guy's way unless it is an exception. If he never has money, either because he has not earned it or because he cannot resist spending it, then he's a bum.