of St. Blog's Official Pinheaded Grammarian
5:07am My dream about being the Editor of the Concord Monitor interrupted by the scratching of my 4 Siamese Cats.
5:09am I rise from bed to spoon heaping helpings of Fancy Feast out into individual cermanic food bowls.
5:17am Proceed to the laundry room to quickly remove cat elimination from the litter boxes.
5:56am Tolstoi, the youngest cat, is the last cat to arrive for his morning evacuation.
5:58am Litter boxes clean, I proceed to my study boot up my computer.
5:59am Morning Earl Grey tea is brewed extra strong.
6:10am I step out into the cool NH air and witness a neighbor allowing their dog to tramp through the yard
6:10:23am I yell "Get off my lawn!" at the neighbor while shaking a clentched fist
6:12am Proceed back to the computer to begin important work
8:10am No typos found yet. Apparently the St. Blog's parishoners are getting more careful under my watchful eye. But I'm sure they can't keep this up very long.
8:33am Found a typo! Huzzah! Hurray for me and my multiple graduate degrees from prestigious Ivy League universities!
9:55am My gloating complete, I log in to blogger to tell the whole world what I have found.
10:01am I complete my snarky post about a misplaced apostrophe and click on the link. Zounds! The typo has been corrected!!
10:03am I decide not to leave the post up since the typo was correctly prior to my submission of correction.
10:20am I have a terrible headache, and realize that in my zeal to proofread Blogs, I have forgotten my tea.
10:21 The tea is extra strong, but cold. I pour it, return to my desk and place the cup on my Brookstone individual cup warmer that I won at a church raffle.
12:23pm No more typos as yet. Must keep looking... this is very important work.
12:47pm Lunch break. I eat a small cucumber sandwich standing alone in my kitchen.
12:59pm Phone rings. It's the head librarian asking if I can come in today since Mildred is out sick. I pretend to be ill since I need to finish my quest.
2:48pm Thought I came across a typo, but realized that "slap-happy" is not a real English word. No time for speculation - must find real meat!
3:00pm Afternoon break to watch Dr. Phil.
3:20pm During a commercial break, I eat 2.5 (two point five) servings of All-Bran in soy milk.
3:51pm Dr. Phil is talking about negotiating with your spouse... I spend a few moments wondering if I can apply his wisdom to my 4 Siamese cats.
3:59pm Dr. Phil ends, I proceed back to my office to continue my important work.
4:32pm Dry well today. Slow day. Perhaps I should start another blog under another name and start writing about the wondrous love of the Son of God.
4:33pm I decide that my work is too important to spend time on another blog.
5:15pm No more finds. I shut down the PC in order to run some errands.
5:27pm Arrive at the Stop-N-Go to get Glamour Kitty Klumping Krystals with Extra Krystals, some heavy cream, one can of tuna and a new toothbrush.
5:46pm Arrive at the Exxon station to get 2.3 gallons of Premium gasoline.
6:05pm Arrive at home. Feed the cats who are circling around my legs in a way reminiscent of Gulliver's Travels.
6:09pm Prepare a light meal of tuna and spinach, with a spoon full of Bran Clusters as a garnish.
6:24pm Proceed to the litter boxes for the evening evacuation.
6:25pm Tolstoi is first this time, followed by Hawthorne, Rosetti and Dante.
6:30pm I watch Jeopardy. Alex Trebek runs a tight ship on that show.
6:33pm I throw my sensible shoe at the TV because Margie from North Dakota didn't get the question right to "This 20th Century Literary Figure Wrote 'Hop on Pop'" I realize that I am just as disappointed in the question as I am in Margie.
7:01pm Back to the computer for more important review.
9:32pm Been to every Catholic Blog under creation, including some just launched today like St. Rhonda's All-Nite Blog and BLAUGDAMUS. They seem to be good candidates for typos, but I find none.
10:11pm Almost time to retire. Perhaps I should just go with the "slap-happy" reference from earlier...
10:15pm A zero day. Too bad. I retire to bed and begin to wind down with my first edition copy of the Chicago Manual of Style.
10:17pm The cats arrive and position themselves next to me on the bed. Tolstoi purrs which I scratch his head. "There's always tomorrow, Tolstoi..."
