Songs for next Christmas

John Schultz and his brother Fr. Steve, co-founders of this blog, were kidding today about making a Christmas album together. It’s not too far-fetched an idea; after all, they were both music majors, and they have performed Christmas music together before. For example, here
[click the ‘read more’ to display the video, if you’re viewing the main blog page]:

Certainly proper and dignified. But the song titles that their friends suggested ran in a different mode:

“Boar’s Head (Deli) Carol”
“I Saw Three Chips”
“Go Tell It In The Sin Bin”
“Children, Go Where I Send Thee (To The Overflow Hall)”
“Come, Thou Long Expected Full House”
“They Came Upon The 4 p.m. Clear”
“God Rest Ye Merry, Cookiepuss”
“Lo, How An Onion Blooming”
“Riu, riu, Cheeto”

Here are a couple of the lyrics I was inspired to offer:

In the bleak mid-winter
and on Easter day,
we see folks in pews who
never come this way.
Lilies, palms, and ashes
call them back to here;
would that God could reach them
more than thrice a year.


The first pizzell’
was vanilla, they say;
but to make them with anise
is just the best way.
And chocolate is good,
we can have that one too,
but a flavor of bubble-gum
makes us say ‘Ew!’
Pizzell’, pizzell’, pizzell’, pizzell’,
These weird fakey flavors should just go to hell.

It’s a work in progress.

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