Family vs. Fraternal Organization

Probably the main topic of conversation at last weekend’s meeting of the Alhambra’s international board of directors was How do we sign up younger members and keep them active?
Of course, being by far the youngest member of our board, many of the other gold tassles turned to me for some possible answers. One of the things I proposed is that the Alhambra shift from a Catholic fraternal organization to a Catholic family organization. De facto, this is how many of our younger caravans (local branches) in terms of membership already operate, and this is how I intend to operate in Ottawa. Basically, these younger caravans keep the monthly meetings short, and invite wives and children to attend as well. All their activities involve the entire family, rather than just the boys. I myself keep pointing to Pope John Paul II’s Familiaris Consortio and all that the Holy Father has done to promote the family apostolate. In fact, long before he ascended to the Throne of St. Peter, Fr. Wojtyla was leading a family kayak trip when he first received news that he was to be consecrated a bishop.
Anyway, there seems to be some interest in exploring this idea a little more, especially since our younger caravans in terms of leadership are already operating as de facto family organizations. Nevertheless, there continues to be much divergence of opinion among 1) our WWII era membership who want to keep this exclusively an old boyz club, 2) our boomer membership who see this primarily as an equality issue and want to see women become full members, but are wishy-washy when it comes to families, and 3) our gen-x membership who are basically pushing for full family membership. In case there is any doubt, I fall into the third category.
What I am interested in finding out, therefore, is whether you would be more likely to join and become active in a Catholic fraternal organization that operates as an all boys club, or whether you find a Catholic family organization that gets the entire family active within our Catholic apostolate more appealing? Please use either the comments box or private email to share your answer, and it would also be helpful if you shared your age and marital status. Thanks…

10 comments

  1. My husband joined the K of C years ago, but has not attended many meetings because it has not been family friendly in our current location. The groups in Van Nuys CA and Eugene OR had a lot of family activities to balance out the men only monthly meetings, but the group here in NH is strictly a group of older men, and they wonder why they can’t get more new members.
    We are not a young family any more (our baby is 15), but the pressures that pull fathers away from their families are so strong that it is a crying shame that Catholic organizations don’t understand and support family apostolates rather than singles (or married singles) activities.
    There is a need for men only and women only activities and apostalates – but I think the focus needs to be now more than ever to support the family,not take it for granted or worse yet, sacrifice it.

  2. +J.M.J+
    Well, I’m 33, husband is 35, two kids are 5 years and 6 weeks respectively.
    As you know, Pete, my husband is in the K of C. He really loves the brotherhood aspects of a fraternal organization. I think men need all that stuff for some reason; the secret ceremonies and all. Though I don’t know whether Alhambra has secret ceremonies like the K of C.
    OTOH, a family-based organization can also be great, and some people probably would rather join the latter than the former. While discussing the K of C on a mailing list over a year ago, I found that some people objected to the idea of keeping “secrets” from their spouse, saying they felt it was contrary to their marriage vows. Here’s the archives page in case you’d like to read some of the posts:
    http://www.cin.org/archives/cet/200210/
    Is there any way that Alhambra could become a little bit of both? Stay fraternal but add family activities? Just a thought…
    In Jesu et Maria,

  3. I’m 30 with no children (yet). I attend Opus Dei evenings and retreats. I would be part of a circle if asked, but I’m not that far into the organization yet.
    I very much enjoy the single-sex aspect of the activities and would not be interested in ones that are “co-ed.” I don’t anticipate a change of heart if/when we have children, as there are also family activities at the average parish.

  4. 37, married 8 years, 5 kids. I do a remarkable all-guys Cursillo reunion group (3 or 4 of us once a week, 1.5 hours on Thursday morning, they and their wives and kids have become our closest friends); we don’t do other Cursillo stuff because it isn’t kid-friendly, and I don’t do “boys club” stuff. If my wife and kids aren’t welcome, I’m not interested. I don’t do the local Opus Dei men-only evenings of reflection.
    I’m a husband and a father, and I’m not interested in abandoning my family for yet another 3 or 4 hours to go to some meeting.

  5. At 57, I’m scarcely Gen X–or even W or V, though with 3 daughters, 2, 4, 15, and a son, 13, we have a young family.
    As I’m unfamiliar with Alhambra’s fraternal nature, I can’t comment knowledgeably–not that has ever stopped me, but if it is anything like the Knights–I’m a 4th degree, I’d opt for Rosemarie’s a bit of both, viz., a fraternity of brothers, with a social outreach to their families.
    I do not go to any social functions from which my wife is excluded and Sonia Maria and I rarely, if ever, go to those where our children would not be welcome.
    Life is too short to separate myself from my family, the heart of my vocation, the heart of my life, save for necessity or moral duty.
    Earl
    PS–The the bogus equality message leaves me cold. You can count me with the WWII vets on this one. The old guard have paid their dues, and they should be convinced of changes that enhance not subvert the founders’ intentions for the fraternity–not pushed aside by demographics. We are Catholics, after all, not corporate raiders.

  6. At 57, I’m scarcely Gen X–or even W or V, though with 3 daughters, 2, 4, 15, and a son, 13, we have a young family.
    As I’m unfamiliar with Alhambra’s fraternal nature, I can’t comment knowledgeably–not that has ever stopped me, but if it is anything like the Knights–I’m a 4th degree, I’d opt for Rosemarie’s a bit of both, viz., a fraternity of brothers, with a social outreach to their families.
    I do not go to any social functions from which my wife is excluded and Sonia Maria and I rarely, if ever, go to those where our children would not be welcome.
    Life is too short to separate myself from my family, the heart of my vocation, the heart of my life, save for necessity or moral duty.
    Earl
    PS–The the bogus equality message leaves me cold. You can count me with the WWII vets on this one. The old guard have paid their dues, and they should be convinced of changes that enhance not subvert the founders’ intentions for the fraternity–not pushed aside by demographics. We are Catholics, after all, not corporate raiders.

  7. At 57, I’m scarcely Gen X–or even W or V, though with 3 daughters, 2, 4, 15, and a son, 13, we have a young family.
    As I’m unfamiliar with Alhambra’s fraternal nature, I can’t comment knowledgeably–not that has ever stopped me, but if it is anything like the Knights–I’m a 4th degree, I’d opt for Rosemarie’s a bit of both, viz., a fraternity of brothers, with a social outreach to their families.
    I do not go to any social functions from which my wife is excluded and Sonia Maria and I rarely, if ever, go to those where our children would not be welcome.
    Life is too short to separate myself from my family, the heart of my vocation, the heart of my life, save for necessity or moral duty.
    Earl
    PS–The the bogus equality message leaves me cold. You can count me with the WWII vets on this one. The old guard have paid their dues, and they should be convinced of changes that enhance not subvert the founders’ intentions for the fraternity–not pushed aside by demographics. We are Catholics, after all, not corporate raiders.

  8. Make a associate membership available as well, so that fellow travelers can contribute if they wish to. I do not have a “caravan” close by to join, nor am I able to make a monthly meeting.
    Gen -X ers are coming back. Remember this is the generation that also joined college fraternities in droves.

  9. oops, 35, single.
    and if you have a associate or correspondence membership, I’ll join.
    MRL

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