In the wake of Pope Francis’ two motus proprio reforming the procedures for annulment cases, I realized that what this topic needs is a good hymn. Or a bad hymn. Something.

A colleague supplied the first line (a bit irreverent in its wording, admittedly) and chose a tune (ABBOTS LEIGH):

Frank, you give the great annulment;
Loose the bond and set me free
My old marital involvement
Kept me in captivity
Once a wedding, now a burden
Doubtful in validity
By your new procedures promise
Judgment of its nullity.

Once I was her perfect hero,
Once she was my perfect peach:
Now our love has gone to zero;
We found lawyers, one for each.
Civil courts dissolved our contract
setting us at liberty:
By your new procedures promise
Judgment of its nullity.

[At this point, modulate up a half-step, please, and add a treble descant:]

Change, I’m told, is always nifty,
And applying isn’t hard:
Fees are but a dollar-fifty
while the form fits on a card.
Past constraint will be forgotten
When that e-mail comes to me;
By your new procedures promise
Judgment of its nullity.