Month: January 2004

Not idolizing “American Idol”

Time for a new year and a new episode of “American Idol.” I’ve never actually seen the show, but since Fox is the only place one can watch “The Simpsons,” I’ve seen plenty of previews for it. A wife of mine (who shall remain nameless) has actually seen an episode or two.
Does anyone else think the way they treat contestants on “AI” is wrong? I used to do some acting, and the Brothers Schultz and I used to do a little singing way back when, and I remember the kind of nervousness you get when you perform on stage. The way I understand it, in the first few episodes, they drag in kids who can’t sing and humiliate them in front of the cameras, then broadcast it to millions of people.
Ha ha ha. I’ve read that the producers identify the ridiculously bad performers and then tell them they’re going to audition for the main judges instead of the lower-level screeners. So these people think, “Hey, I’ve really got a shot,” but instead they get verbally abused. Maybe some of them think it’s a lark afterwards, but from the looks on their faces, they seem genuinely shocked.
If I were one of the sucky performers, I’d probably want to shoot myself — or that nasty judge, Simon. Where does he get off passing judgment on people’s talents? He’s the guy who inflicted the Spice Girls on the world. He should be on trial at the Hague, right after Milosevic is finished.
Anyway, the whole thing makes me sick. I don’t really care about the whole “Star Search” aspect, but it seems like they could have that without the humiliation. Or is cruelty considered good clean fun these days, and I hadn’t noticed?
UPDATE: I was wrong — Simon Cowell did not create the Spice Girls, contrary to my memory. He is responsible for the Teletubbies and the Mighty Morph’n Power Rangers. Simon Fuller is the guy who created the Spice Girls. I should watch VH-1 more often to keep these things straight, but I don’t have cable, so I can’t.

Killing poor people by keeping them poor

I was going to do a little comparison between the earthquake in my ancestral homeland of California and the one in Bam, Iran. (Please, no comments on the unfortunate onomatopoeia of “Bam.”) But lo, Jonah Goldberg beat me to it.
The California earthquake was somewhat smaller than the Iranian one, but killed two people instead of 30,000+. The anti-globalizers on the Left want to ensure that these disasters happen from now until the end of time. Who cares about mothers wailing for their children, or thousands of homes wiped out in a few minutes of screaming, suffocating chaos? All these things must be offered up to the god of environmental primitivism.
What do I mean by “environmental primitivism”? The anti-globalizers think that poor non-Western people are cute, so they don’t want them to change their charmingly backward ways, which are (they imagine) the way people lived before the nasty Industrial Revolution with its so-called “abundant food,” “long lifespans,” and “housing codes.” They love that poor people don’t consume much energy or natural resources, and they use “organic” methods of agriculture — which aren’t very helpful for crop yields, but they don’t use evil pesticides or fertilizers. And harvesting by hand — so darn cute!
Likewise, the stone-and-mud-brick houses of the Third World are environmentally friendly. They’re also a deathtrap during a natural disaster. But not one tree was bulldozed to make room for them.
Wealth brings medical training, healthy food, and houses that won’t crumple during an earthquake. Poverty kills, and therefore the misguided leftists who want to keep poor people poor are, in an indirect way, conspiring to make sure poor people keep dying in earthquakes, famines, and epidemics. Maybe if our brothers in the Third World promise to keep being cute somehow, the anti-globalizers would let them build their houses out of solid masonry and sheetrock?