In some cultures, it’s still conventional that fathers aren’t present at childbirth, but in the technological West, when women started having to bear their children in a room full of strangers, it became accepted and even expected that fathers would attend and assist at births, somewhat as an advocate for the mother vis-a-vis the medical professionals.
So says obstetrician Dr. Michel Odent. However, his experiences have led him to believe that in many cases the father’s presence and his excitement make labors longer and more difficult for the mother.
With words, most modern women are adamant that they need the participation of the baby’s father while they give birth; but on the day of the birth the same women can express exactly the opposite in a nonverbal way. I remember a certain number of births that were going on slowly up to the time when the father was unexpectedly obliged to get out (for example to buy something urgently before the store is closed). As soon as the man left, the laboring woman started to shout out, she went to the bathroom and the baby was born after a short series of powerful and irresistible contractions (what I call a “fetus ejection reflex”).
The full article is available online.
Fathers at the birth became part of the culture when women needed protection from the cascade of medical interventions that were then common (actually, they still are, but women in general have decided they want them – a change from 30 years ago).
Odent is quite a maverick. I love the man and what he has tried to do to protect the normal process of childbirth, but he is definitely fighting a losing battle against the culture that has now defined childbirth as a spectator sport.
If I have a little more time I will try to put together a post on this topic – one that is obviously close to my heart.
I’ve been a birth activist in one way or another for nearly 3 decades now – almost as long as I have been Catholic.
By the way – I see that you posted the article from the Midwifery Today site. Did you read any of my articles? I have several published in that journal.
Hi, Alicia– It’s the first time I’d seen the magazine. I heard about Dr. Odent because the BBC World Service radio show “Outlook” interviewed him on Tuesday 9/30. Audio is available online (for a few days). There’s an intro to the topic at the start of the program, and then you can skip to 00:26:00 into the program for the feature.
Well, you can call Bryan and me counter-cultural, because he and I are in complete agreement about his absence from the birth of our children (whenever they decide to start showing up, that is…) I have no desire for him to be there, and he doesn’t want to be there. Does that make us ‘retro’?
I’ll know right where to find him, though: huddled inside one of those otdoor “smoker’s kiosks” with all the off-duty doctors.
Yeah, baby, got my emergency carton of Luckys in the car!
LSMFT
I was actually quite happy to have my husband at my birth. Mind you, we’re living hundreds of miles away from any family so he was the only advocate and friend I had to be there. We’ve been using NFP since a bit after our marriage so he wasn’t as terrified by “women’s things” as some of the guys I know and he ended up being a great help in the last phase.
On the other hand, my labor was on the difficult side, required some intervention (I was having back labor, going hysterical due to a lack of sleep, and getting an urge to push way too early in the process.) and was not my ideal. I had a great OB who was willing to let birth be a natural thing, but the hospital was completely counterproductive to that. (I had looked into alternatives but all of the midwives and birthing centers were at least two hours away.) Almost nothing to help back labor pain naturally. My husband was a good support and helped me decide whether the meds were really needed.
On the bright side, our night nurse was incredible in helping me start nursing and completely supportive of breastfeeding exclusively.
I delivered many farm wives in my younger days, and usually I requested a relative to be there to help mom in the lonely hospital environment (many still do home deliveries partly to protest the dehumanization of modern hospitals).
I didn’t even require dad to go to “classes” like most docs. I merely asked them if they had delivered cows or horses and were aware that deliveries were bloody and risky, and if they said yes, I let them in. One or two fainted, but no major problems.
One lady was a young 18 year old with her 22 year old husband. At the last minute, the baby’s heartbeat fell (from a cord around the neck–where it could strangulate the kid if labour took too long) and, knowing she was too pooped to push, I applied forceps and pulled the kid out. Dad took one look and fainted. Five minutes later, baby boy was crying lustily, mom was laughing, and we got around to reviving dad…
Later, I remarked to him: “You said you had delivered cows and horses using chains and hooks, so why did you faint?”
“Ah,” he replied,” But this was my WIFE”…
That’s the reason I won’t be in the room. I was raised on a farm. I’ve seen a fair amount of viscera, but I would be worse than useless if it involved my wife and child.