Bad fruits (and nuts!)

School ‘Peanut Gallery’ Raises Eyebrows
Schools are requiring students who bring peanut butter sandwiches for lunch to eat at their own table to protect children who have nut allergies.

Food allergists say peanut allergies among school-aged children have doubled to 400,000 over the last five years. They can’t explain the spike but said it has caused more schools to creatively accommodate allergic students.

They can’t explain it? I can. The Liturgical Reforms of Vatican II are the cause of rising nut allergies. Now is the time to act! Please download and post this sign on the doors to your Church sacristy, liturgy director’s office, music practice room, and the closet where they store all the stuff the art committee has made. You know, the tapestries they hang up in the sanctuary for each liturgical season because there is no reredos? You don’t have that? That’s great! You can pray for those of us who do.


nutfree.jpg

Click to download this as a PDF,
then print with impunity!

9 comments

  1. I’m the kind of dreadful Scottish scold who believes food allergies are a character flaw, so I appreciate your humour!
    So where do those funky hippie whole wheat hosts fit into all this? Can we squeeze in something about glutten allergies?

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