Category: Odds & Ends

In spite of his personal fondness for Stalin and Stalinism, Saddam Hussein Al-Tikriti apparently wasn’t quite the perfect dialectical materialist: he had a superstitious side and patronized several consulting magicians. That will provide some interesting stories when it all comes out.

Being, as you know, the sole licensee of the well-loved ‘Kreative Katholic Kuisine with Sister Nuevo Mary’ cook- (kook?)book, I was appalled, yes, appalled to see the following recipe for Eucharistic Bread lifted from the above mentioned publication and pinned ostentatiously on the bulletin board of Christ the King Church in Abingdon, VA:
Sift Together: 2 c. stirred whole wheat flour
½ c. sifted white four
¾ tsp baking soda
Cut into above until crumbly: 2 rounded Tbsp. Crisco
Mix into above: 1 c. cold water
1 Tbsp. Honey (generous tbsp.)
(The directions for baking follow. *N.B. for N.O.: Blame them. I just copied it down as I found it.)
Now, I am sure that you have as many questions as I do. First, let me ask the question that all you armchair Mr. Wizards are thinking right now: How DO you make unleavened bread with baking soda? Oh, and is it really true that Crisco was widely available to the Jews when they were first directed to make the Passover bread? What is a generous tablespoon?
Now, of course, for those of you who have some sort of problem with ‘illicit’ and ‘invalid’ matter (what’s wrong with you?) you can see from the pop-up photo below that I took before Mass that BOTH kinds of matter (you know, the valid and the invalid) are available. But how would you make sure you got the Consecrated Host (and not just some bread) when you went up for Communion? When the Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion (which, for those of you who attend Christ the King and other such churches, is the CORRECT term) holds up that crumbly piece of Harvest Cake and says: “The Body of Christ.” Do you say (politely, of course): “No, its NOT.” Or do you simply say, as if you were at a fine restaurant, “No, I believe I’ll have Jesus, please.”
My husband and I usually go into North Carolina for Mass on Sundays whenever we are visiting in the Diocese of Richmond, but my father had assured us that Christ the King had a new priest.
Well, they didn’t.
The pastor there is still, but not for too much longer, Father Bob Krenic (he’s moving to some other lucky parish at the end of this month. I wonder how his new flock will react to his bag of tricks, such as: skipping the ‘Gloria’ every Sunday, changing the words of the Liturgy to suit his mood, encouraging everyone to join hands as if they were at an ‘Up With People’ rally, generally denying the Catholic faithful their right to the Mass, etc.)
Usually I wouldn’t name the priest or parish involved in such ridiculous and pitiful Liturgical shenanigans, but when I wrote Bishop Walter “French Leave” Sullivan about Fr. Krenic’s kooky Liturgical predilections a few years ago, he assured me (rather frostily too, I might add) that he, the bishop, stood behind him, Fr. Krenic, all the way. So, I figure, if Sullivan is pleased with the big doings in Abingdon, he’ll be happy to have them posted up on the Internet for everyone to see.
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Parents Blame Selves for Children’s Obesity
“My kid is lazy and overweight. I’m a failure… a terrible parent. I’m so depressed… where are my twinkies?”
Ninety percent of those surveyed were either very concerned or somewhat concerned with child obesity, the survey said.
And the other 10% said, “Get in the car kids, the Hot Donuts Now sign is flashing at Krispy Kreme!”

Moses Blah
Imagine the campaign signs (if there’s ever an election)
“Blah for President”
“More Blah”
“Blah Blah Blah”
“Blah More Years”

Could I call having 3 eggs and 6 sausage links a “reasonable breakfast” ?