Author: John Schultz

Belongs on The Onion

Someone please tell me this isn’t true.

“SECRET discussions between the Roman Catholic Church and Michael Jackson to put the prayers of Pope John Paul II to music appeared to be in disarray last night after the singer fled members of the press who had got wind of the project.” …more

Who’s afraid of opera?

BENNETT, Colo. – Some parents in this prairie town are angry with an elementary school music teacher for showing pupils a video about the opera “Faust,” whose title character sells his soul to the devil in exchange for being young again…
Tresa Waggoner showed approximately 250 first-, second- and third-graders at Bennett Elementary portions of a 33-year-old series titled “Who’s Afraid of Opera” a few weeks ago.
The video features the soprano Dame Joan Sutherland and three puppet friends discussing Gounod’s “Faust.” Waggoner thought it would be a good introduction to opera.

I wonder how many of those kids get to watch MTV or the Fox network after 8pm? Could that be any worse than Joan Sutherland and puppet friends talking about opera?
The Coup de grâce:

Another parent, Casey Goodwin, said, “I think it glorifies Satan in some way.”

I agree that Joan Sutherland talking to puppet friends might be a little disturbing. See below:

But glorifies Satan? That’s nuts.
The teacher gets a jab in at the end of the article:

“I was definitely not sensitive to the conservative nature of the community, and I’ve learned that,” Waggoner said in Sunday’s editions of The Denver Post. “However, from what has been said about me, that I’m a Satan worshipper, my character, I can’t believe all of this. My intention was just to expose the kids to opera.”

Get it? Having a conservative nature means you are a nasty reactionary.
For those of you who are now curious about the Faust story, here’s a synopsis of the opera if you want to draw your own conclusions.

Dress Code

Who wears t-shirts to the State of the Union address?
Cindy Sheehan, and the wife of Florida Rep. Bill Young. Both were ejected by Capitol police.
And what a lame way to go. I thought Sheehan would have waited to cause a spectacle. She might have jumped out of the balcony Tosca-style yelling, “Bush killed my son!” And as she lay injured on the floor of the senate, she would have smiled at the camera and said, “Senator Feinstein – I’m coming for you, you sell out… someone get Jessee Jackson – this is the photo op of the century…”
Instead she decides to wear a t-shirt that said “2,245 Dead. How many more.”

A more appropriate shirt would have been this.