Author: John Schultz

You all have been a

You all have been a great congregation!!! Thanks, I’ll be here all week!!!
Zorak asks,
Any suggestions on how to stop the congregation from bursting into applause after Mass? Seriously. It’s a good mass (or at least, good enough, musical style is charismatic but no guitars and content of songs is not heretical, strong faithful homilies, tabernacle in the right place) but they CLAP at the end which is so deeply annoying, like they just saw a theater performance. Or, any suggestions on how I can get over this?
Applause used to happen after every Mass at Saint Mark’s. The pastor got tired of it for the reasons listed above and started a campaign. First, he preached about how applause is not an effective reaction to the Gospel and how if they thought they could just clap-n-go and not live out the Gospel, they were fooling themselves. He had announcement read at the beginning of Mass on successive weeks by the cantor, choir director or organist. We were asked to put them in our own words in order to make sure they were communicated sincerely.
After about 3 weeks – no more applause. It had actually tapered off each week as people get the clue. I heard a few parishoners complain about it, but now we don’t miss it and there’s not the feeling of leaving a concert hall or theater at the end of Mass.
So it worked out fine. Just took a conscious effort by pastor, priests and liturgy staff to discourage it.

Is that a donut in

Is that a donut in your holster, or are you happy to see me?
Teen Forced to Pay Cop for Calling Him ‘Fat’
LONDON (Reuters) – Judges ordered a British teenager to pay $160 to a policeman for “mental anguish” after calling him “fat,” the Daily Telegraph reported Tuesday.
“Coppers have feelings too, and I’m glad that the magistrates have taken the unusual step of recognizing that,” the paper quoted the police officer as saying.
The 5-foot, 8-inch officer weighs 196 pounds, the paper said.
“Sure, I enjoy the odd curry and a pint or two, but I am not fat at all. That’s unfair,” he said. “I play cricket for my local club and coach junior football, so if anything, I think I am quite sporty.”
One question: if you are “quite sporty” then why did you suffer from mental anquish when a drunken teenager called you fat?

May May got off to

May
May got off to a bad start, in terms of honoring Our Lady. I had planning on having the choir do the Aichinger “Regina Caeli” as a choral prelude on Sunday and the organ preludes went a bit long and the entire liturgy staff was on edge because we had First Communions and that can sometimes mean liturgical mayhem. It translated into Mass starting a bit early with no prelude.
Then I had the flash – we’ll make it a postlude. Why not? There’s a handful of folks who didn’t leave after communion and didn’t dash out the door that are still in the church by the time we’re done with the last stanza. But the postlude didn’t happen either because the pastor didn’t process out – there were photos to be taken and they had to happen in front of the sanctuary right after Mass. So a postlude would have interrupted the directions: “Katelyn, go stand next to Father.” “Cooper – get back here now!” “Colton, put your white bowtie back on!”
To top it off, I had been at a parish the night before when they had actually done the May crowning at the beginning of Mass. I had never seen that done at Mass before – I’m sure there’s some liturgists out there who would say it’s not appropriate because of it’s devotional nature – but at least the heart is in the right place. The only problem with the May crowning had to do with a miserly approach to the hymns: we did only two verses of “Hail Holy Queen” and the crowners were crowning in silence. Note to the misers: Hymns are prayers. Don’t be stingy. They are not meant to give everyone something to do while there is movement around the church.
This week we’ll do the Jaeggi arrangement of the “Salve Mater” – I promise.