You probably don’t know this, but there’s an election happening in Canada. We don’t have fixed election dates so the government can call an election at any time. They thus decided to call one last Sunday for mid-October. However, the country’s five major political parties are facing a new problem: few ordinary Canadians understand why the election has been called. My own personal theory is that Americans are having one, so Canadian politicians want one too.
Because most Canadians feel their political entertainment needs are being met by the U.S. election, they’re not tuning in to the Canadian one. Of course this worries Canadian politicians who are vying for the attention of voters. So what to do has become a big question north of the border.
Here are my two suggestions:
1 – Instead of the usual podium set-up during the leaders’ debate, pick a pond (this should be easy, Canada has the greatest concentration of bodies of water of any country) and place each party leader in his or her own canoe. Then halfway through the debate unleash some Georgia bunnies.
2 – Force each party leader to debate using a Dr. Seuss style. I imagine it would go something like this:
I think 4th is on to something. Perhaps Canadian networks could drum up more interest by requiring party leaders to speak like Dr. Seuss during the debates.
“Dion is no leader,
He’s out of touch too,
Come mid-October,
Please vote Tory blue”
“Harper is scary,
He’s Dubya’s shill
Vote for me Liberals,
You know the drill.”
“Stephen and Stephane
In the East and the West,
But here in Quebec,
Vote seperatist.”
“My right-wing opponents,
Oh how they rave,
But vote for the Dippers,
And I promise to shave.”
“Four leaders in suits,
All of them men,
Vote Green this election,
For more estrogen”