Why Men Hate Church

A book excerpt by Evangelical writer David Murrow.

Tough, earthy, working guys rarely come to church. High achievers, alpha males, risk takers, and visionaries are in short supply. Fun-lovers and adventurers are also underrepresented in church. These rough-and-tumble men don’t fit in with the quiet, introspective gentlemen who populate the church today. The truth is, most men in the pews grew up in church. Many of these lifers come not because they desire to be transformed by Christ but because they enjoy participating in comforting rituals that have changed little since their childhood. There are also millions of men who attend services under duress, dragged by a mother, wife, or girlfriend. Today’s churchgoing man is humble, tidy, dutiful, and above all, nice.
What a contrast to the men of the Bible! Think of Moses and Elijah, David and Daniel, Peter and Paul. They were lions, not lambs—takecharge men who risked everything in service to God. They fought valiantly and spilled blood. They spoke their minds and stepped on the toes of religious people. They were true leaders, tough guys who were feared and respected by the community. All of these men had two things in common: they had an intense commitment to God, and they weren’t what you’d call saintly.
Such men seldom go to church today.

12 comments

  1. I read Murrow’s excellent book on why men hate church. It makes many valid points. Also a great book is “The Church Impotent” by Leon Podles. I cringe every time the sign of peace becomes mass kissy-face for 10 minutes. I loathe holding hands at the Our Father–and the hymns we sing are saccharine, swishy, treacle. No wonder more and more men head for the woods or the ball field on Sunday morning.

  2. Today’s churchgoing man is humble, tidy, dutiful, and above all, nice.
    *Heh*
    I’ll have to remember that the next time I get called a “selfish, mysoginistic *&^%!” for being an orthodox Catholic.

  4. I have my doubts about this. Trade union membership has also gone to Hell in a handbasket during the same period.
    Agreed. And the union movement has become increasingly feminized, in several senses in that time as well.

  5. Chesterton pointed out that people criticize the Church for being against women, but then say that church is only for old ladies. You can’t win with some people.
    Deacon, there’s a solution to the Our Father hand-holding problem: just don’t do it. (I’m not saying you do.) I never hold hands with anybody who isn’t married to me or begotten by me, and I don’t know why being in church makes any difference. If I lived in the Mideast and male hand-holding was normal, then no problem, but that’s not the case in our culture. You shouldn’t be made to feel embarrassed when praying in public.
    Victor’s right about the feminization of trade unions. The AFL-CIO has a position on gun control (for) and abortion (against). I can’t picture too many steelworkers who hate guns and think the school nurse should be able to let their 15-year-old daughters get abortions.

  6. abortion (against).
    I assume you mean the AFL-CIO is against restrictions on abortion, not against abortion itself.

  7. Whoops, yes — they’re against any restrictions on abortion. If I had permission to edit my own comments on Catholic Light, I’d amend my words….

  11. My brother doesn’t like going to church anymore, because of all of the hand-holding, hugging at the kiss of peace, etc.
    My current parish, for most masses, doesn’t even _do_ the kiss of peace.

  12. “I cringe every time the sign of peace becomes mass kissy-face for 10 minutes.”
    Ironically, if you’ve ever been to a Missa Solemnis using the classical Roman Missal (“Tridentine”), you’d know how the “kiss of peace” is supposed to look. Similar to that of concelebrating clerics in the Byzantine Rite. The latter is how my son and I exchange the peace at an RC church.
    As to the Our Father, I don’t do hands.

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