Proposed amendment to the Constitution

Section 1. The President shall have the authority to designate certain legal proceedings as “celebrity trials.” These celebrity trials shall be known from the public attention they receive, and the nonexistent impact they have on the Nation’s day-to-day life.
Section 2. The provisions of the First Amendment to the Constitution regarding these trials shall be considered null and void.
Section 3. The President shall direct the law enforcement agencies to suppress any publication or broadcast mentioning these celebrity trials. Any citizen attempting to publicize these trials shall be displayed in a public place with shackles and a sign reading “I find pleasure in humiliating others.”
Section 4. No one shall ever mention Michael Jackson of Santa Barbara, California, ever again. No, not even his family.

3 comments

  1. What’s with giving that kind of power to the executive branch alone? Why not involve the congress too?
    Sure, you like the current president and fear Democratic filibusters, but what happens when Hillary or some other Democrat becomes president? What happens when the trumped up, politically motivated charges against you go to trial and this amendment is invoked without the ability for Congress to step in. It’s a disaster in the making. I refuse to support this amendment until the proper checks and balances are put in place.

  2. A useful constitutional amendment would be the repeal of the 17th Amendment, which allowed for the elections of U.S. Senators by popular vote. Previously our U.S. Senators were chosen by our states’ representatives, and better served our states’ interests….The 17th Amendment has caused Senate races to become “beauty pageants”, and our U.S. Senators are more often celebrities than statesmen.

  3. Oh, Eric, don’t be such a grouch. This is great spectacle — how the mighty have fallen. The contemporary equivalent of the Greeks watching Oedipus get his.
    As Chris Rock put it in “Never Weaken”: Remember those debates in the 80s about who was better, Prince or Michael Jackson? Prince won.

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