Over at Dom’s, there’s a thread about the need that a priest’s way of life be characterized by simplicity and shun whatever smacks of worldliness. A few commenters there mentioned priests wearing lay attire at inappropriate times. I agree with their concern, but I hope nobody jumps to conclusions about a priest’s good character just because they see him out in the world from time to time without his collar on.
A few weeks ago, a friend and I went out to dinner with a friar. We started to wish that he had worn civvies that evening, because his friar’s habit tends to function as a kook magnet, even more than a diocesan priest’s black suit.
After we got to the Italian restaurant, a very devout and patriotic but eccentric woman latched onto us. She thinks she’s being led by God to spread the message of how Catholic-friendly George Washington was. Her devotion even went to the point of putting portraits of George and Martha under her images of the Sacred Heart and the Immaculate Heart. She kept coming back, chatting and showing us clippings (!), five times in all.
So if you see a priest wearing lay attire, please don’t assume he’s failing in his duties based on that fact alone. Maybe he’s just trying to eat a little spaghetti and have a conversation in relative peace.
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I have to wonder whether this is more true today than it was in past years and, if so, why?
I do know that some good priest don’t want to be bothered hearing confessions etc. so that they don’t wear their collar when they travel. They could be missing a great opportunity. Plus, with all the temptations out there, I think they might err on the side of wearing the collar. I would not be slipping off my wedding ring to go out to dinner with my friends.
Of course you wouldn’t, Alison: a wedding ring is hardly noticeable, and doesn’t attract the attention of eccentric people. Wearing one is no burden.
I think the fact that priests in collars or religious in habits are such “magnets” in public is partially due to the fact that they’re such a rarity. Perhaps “back in the day” when it wasn’t such a rarity to see a priest in public with a collar on, they garnered less attention (or maybe the devout celebrity hunters were more widely distributed among the many priests who were out).
When I was in the seminary, we were given the following scenario for reflection: Your very attractive niece comes for a visit and you take her out to dinner. Do you: a) go to dinner in town, wearing your clerics. b) go to dinner in town in lay attire. c) go to dinner in the next town over in clerics. or d) go to dinner in the next town over in civvies.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, but it was an interesting scenario. My solution was to make sure the biggest busybody in the parish has met her (or at least show her picture around as any proud uncle would), then go to dinner in town with a collar on.
Our saintly rector at Mt St Mary’s, Msgr Roeltgen, used to say, “If it can’t be done with a collar on, it’s something that you shouldn’t be doing anyway.”
Aside from the obvious exceptions like showering, I find that to be good advice. I’m sorry that your friar friend was besieged by nuts, but that is part of the mortification that goes with the habit. Habits are not supposed to be comfortable, either physically or socially. Weirdos latch on to me all the time, since I always wear my cassock in public. C’est la vie. It is an unwarranted aggravation for you, RC, I concede, but it is part of your friar friend’s life. He wears it precisely because it is a burden, as well as a sign and witness.
Fr. JP said that better than I ever could have. RC, what I was trying to say is that we have to be what we are and can’t escape it even for dinner. I used to think no big deal and have been out to dinner with priests who were not wearing collars (and they should have known better because they went to Mt. Saint Mary’s). I regret it now. Two years ago, a good priest friend of mine was out to dinner without his collar because he didn’t want his friends bothered. He made some decisions afterwards which I don’t think he would have had he had his collar on. While he still has his parish and his priesthood, he will never be the same. It was one of worst things I have ever had to offer up. I will never think that I or anyone else in an immune class. We just all need to be careful.
I’m very sorry Allison. I am a Mount Saint Mary’s grad and the great majority of the guys would never do that. I hope your experience doesn’t reflect poorly on the rest of us.
My friar friend’s attitude is really about the same as Fr. JP’s: he said, “Welcome to my world.” :-)
I’m not against wearing ‘clerics’ or habits, of course; I just hope people avoid jumping to conclusions about others. The law requires clergy and religious to wear their particular clothing during their ministerial activities, but not all the time.
Now, shall we start a movement to get lay people to wear visible religious symbols all the time too? If it helps priests and religious avoid committing sin, it’ll be good for us lay folks. After all, our Lord wants our holiness to “surpass that of the scribes and Pharisees” — and the bishops, priests, religious, etc.
Those of us who wear our Brown Scapulars under our clothing may need to change that –tut, tut!
Actually, that point is well taken. Having Catholic pro life bumper stickers on the car and wearing Catholic medals and crucifixes can changed one’s behavior for the better. And when workplace cubicles are adorned with a Catholic calendar or portrait of Our Blessed Mother there had better not be any gossiping going on. For me, a thorough cleaning up of my driving attitudes and habits took several years (I was a tough case)and began with the realization that people would know it was a Catholic passing by.
Our parish priests wear cassocks all the time and their stories of conversions and persecutions are marvelous and increase our faith. Once in an airport a teenage “goth” approached the priest, also attired in black and began the conversation, continued as they happened to be seated next to each other,(!) that led to her first of many catechism lessons.
When we were challenged to bring in one convert each within the next year, it was the Catholic calendar at work that opened the conversation that led to “my” convert coming back into the Church after many years. The Holy Spirit uses such things. gotta run, but I find the wearing of priestly garb edifying.
Having been a Catholic since birth & a Franciscan for over 3 decades, the adage “the habit dosen’t make the monk” becomes clearer & clearer to me as I get older. Who I am as a priest comes through loud & clear for better or for worse. I have seen many, many of my brother priests do wonderful things for people be they in habit, vestment, military uniform, hospital scrubs, EMT uniforms, and the list goes on and on and on………….
Sometimes people can spot a priest even without the garb. A couple of nurses at a blood donor center in Boston went out for a drink after work, and they started talking with a fellow at the bar. They had a nice talk, and when he left, one of them said, “Well, bye, Father.” It just came out of her, even though he hadn’t mentioned it at all. His face turned white and he started stammering.
I think it’s making a bit of an extreme point to say what every sensible person knows, that a habit or collar does not, by itself, MAKE the cleric. Well, of course. But that doesn’t mean it’s unimportant either. The question is whether the collar matters in some crucial way. I say it does, and not because it’s a collar as such.
Priests are men apart, and especially now, when every vestige of religion is being systematically purged from public life it’s an important witness to the ongoing work of Christ. Out of sight, out of mind. It’s simply a fact, a matter of common experience. Is it possible to be a good priest and eschew the collar? Well, in principle, and probably practice as well. The question is, why would he? Of course one CAN be an effective priest and leave the collar at home most days. I’m positive such priests exist, but they cannot but be less effective witnesses for it. And you can at least be sure that wearing the collar (or–gasp!–cassock) does no harm.