Cardinal, this is God. Just a quick head’s up… you’re not going to be the next Pope. Ok? Just wanted to set your expectations. Keep the faith. Thanks.
“Diocese of Cardinal Roger Mahony here, who’s calling please?”
“Damn. Is there any way we can keep that the hell out of the LA Times?”
“I think it has nothing to do with homosexuality, heterosexuality or with celibacy” (actual quote) (he said with a grim look).
“You don’t find the bit of blue on my pectoral cross charming, Holy Father?”
That’s right, I’m jellin. You jellin?
At the tone, the time will be…
Jesus: “Can you hear me now?”
“And then it dawned on me, duh! . . . you don’t need a cell phone to talk to the Almighty Omniscient One!”
“No, we don’t consider that a sin anymore. No, not since the second Vatican council. Well, what does your conscience tell you? Really? Yes, it makes since that you’d only call if you thought you needed to confess it. Hold on that’s the other line…Absolute Absolution, you commit, we acquit. Can you hold?” I knew this was a bad idea.
Cardinal Mahony? Oh… I’m sorry, I was trying to reach Mother Angelica.
No, it’s not a bad connection this is a still small voice. Now listen up and don’t interrupt. You wouldn’t believe the roaming charges between you and heaven.
“Now Gray, Jesus still loves you, but please don’t quote me on that.”
“I need a lawyer!”
“Now look- it’s not funny. You don’t talk about my cathedral and I don’t talk about your cathedral. Got that?”
Arnold? Arnold who? I don’t know any Arnold from Sacramento!
I thought that Do-Not-Call registry was suppoed to be in effect by now!
“Cardinal Mahoney, ja? Please hold for Cardinal Ratzinger.”
Really? The Cubs fan was *Your* plant?
———————————————
Though I like my own, the best so far is JS’s “Cardinal Mahony? Oh… I’m sorry, I was trying to reach Mother Angelica.”
“Yes, I’ve asked–several times–and no one named ‘Mike Rotch’ or ‘Amanda Huggenkiss’ is here right now.”
Go ahead… What’s That?… There’s a camera where?… Ahh, there it is.
*thought* (Don’t smile! DON’T SMILE)
Karl says –
Jesus: “Can you hear me now?”
LOL, has to be the best !!!!
What, my odds are 20-1 on Paddypower.com?
Me modo exaudisti? Eu!
Cardinal, this is God. Just a quick head’s up… you’re not going to be the next Pope. Ok? Just wanted to set your expectations. Keep the faith. Thanks.
“Diocese of Cardinal Roger Mahony here, who’s calling please?”
“Damn. Is there any way we can keep that the hell out of the LA Times?”
“I think it has nothing to do with homosexuality, heterosexuality or with celibacy” (actual quote) (he said with a grim look).
“You don’t find the bit of blue on my pectoral cross charming, Holy Father?”
That’s right, I’m jellin. You jellin?
At the tone, the time will be…
Jesus: “Can you hear me now?”
“And then it dawned on me, duh! . . . you don’t need a cell phone to talk to the Almighty Omniscient One!”
“No, we don’t consider that a sin anymore. No, not since the second Vatican council. Well, what does your conscience tell you? Really? Yes, it makes since that you’d only call if you thought you needed to confess it. Hold on that’s the other line…Absolute Absolution, you commit, we acquit. Can you hold?” I knew this was a bad idea.
Cardinal Mahony? Oh… I’m sorry, I was trying to reach Mother Angelica.
“Put me down for a five-spot on Cardinal Biffi to show.”
Cardinal: “Terri who? Never heard of him”.
No, it’s not a bad connection this is a still small voice. Now listen up and don’t interrupt. You wouldn’t believe the roaming charges between you and heaven.
“Now Gray, Jesus still loves you, but please don’t quote me on that.”
“I need a lawyer!”
“Now look- it’s not funny. You don’t talk about my cathedral and I don’t talk about your cathedral. Got that?”
Arnold? Arnold who? I don’t know any Arnold from Sacramento!
I thought that Do-Not-Call registry was suppoed to be in effect by now!
“Cardinal Mahoney, ja? Please hold for Cardinal Ratzinger.”
Really? The Cubs fan was *Your* plant?
———————————————
Though I like my own, the best so far is JS’s “Cardinal Mahony? Oh… I’m sorry, I was trying to reach Mother Angelica.”
“Yes, I’ve asked–several times–and no one named ‘Mike Rotch’ or ‘Amanda Huggenkiss’ is here right now.”
Go ahead… What’s That?… There’s a camera where?… Ahh, there it is.
*thought* (Don’t smile! DON’T SMILE)
Karl says –
Jesus: “Can you hear me now?”
LOL, has to be the best !!!!