Pamela Anderson teaches Sunday School
No, that isn’t a joke. She really is, according to this article. She is now “retired from acting,” though some catty people might suggest that she has never started.
Her next artistic endeavor will be a cartoon called “Striperella,” collaborating with animation legend Stan Lee (“Spider-Man”). I thought maybe the show had something to do with that heavy-metal Christian band from the ’80s, but then I remembered they spelled their name “Stryper,” so I’m thinking this might be Pam’s autobiography.
Anderson will also be testifying before Congress, doubtless at the request of Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D-Chappaquiddick). She contracted hepatitis C from her former husband, Tommy Lee, a member of the band Motley Crew — excuse me, “Mötley Crüe.” He didn’t tell her about it — if in fact he knew in the first place — and she wants a new law requiring disease revelations before marriage. “I was the wife of someone who was too embarrassed to disclose it,” she explains.
It happens that I have flipped through a book about Mr. Lee’s band while at a local music store, and it’s amazing that he’s reticent to disclose much of anything. “They nailed the hottest chicks, started the bloodiest fights, partied with the biggest drug dealers, and got to know the inside of every jail cell from California to Japan,” it says on the cover of the Crüe’s book, which was inexplicably co-written by a New York Times writer. “Tommy married two international sex symbols; Vince killed a man and lost a daughter to cancer; Nikki overdosed, rose from the dead, and then OD’d again the next day; and Wick shot a woman and tried to hang his own brother. But that’s just the beginning.” Whew. And the guy couldn’t tell his wife about a lousy social disease because he was embarrassed?
I swear I’m not making up any of this. Truly, America has the best and the worst of everything. None of this could ever happen in Finland.