What were you two thinking???
Hello, all —
This is my initial posting on Catholic Light, and I thank Mr. Sal for inviting me, even though every time I see him, I start singing, “I got a mule his name is Sal….”
I thought I’d begin with a brief personal note. My kids are 3 (the boy), 2 (the girl), and -5 months (sex unknown, due in February.) Charlie and Anna are twelve months, seventeen days apart. Let me list a few of the questions and comments we got when Anna was in utero:
• Was the baby an accident?
• Man! Give that woman a break!
• You know, they have things to keep that from happening these days! [a very frequent comment, usually delivered with a wink.]
• Well, I guess you’re Catholic. [eye roll]
This time, we’ve gotten two repeatedly:
• Have you considered how much money kids cost?
• Man! Give that woman a break!
Now, I am hardly a wealthy man, but I do make a decent salary, and we don’t spend money above our means. I don’t know why someone would presume that we couldn’t afford to support three kids. I know that college is expensive, but if you start saving when they’re little, it’s not that bad; the immediate expense of a baby is fairly small. Except for baby food (maybe $20-30 a week) and diapers ($10 or so), they’re pretty cheap. We’ve already got boy and girl clothes, and my wife is friends with a group of mothers who circulate children’s clothing among themselves as the need arises.
As for “giving her a break,” why on earth would someone assume that Paige wouldn’t want another baby? We talked about it beforehand, and decided that whenever God decided to bless us with another child, we would accept it. I’m quite pleased that we’re having another baby, and so is Paige. Lord help us when we have #4.
Doubtless, there are a myriad of explanations as to why someone would say something rude upon the news of a pregnancy. (I should also say that most of my friends and co-workers have been completely happy that we’re having another one.) I think there are two reasons for this. First is the culture of selfishness: children are seen as restrictions on the parents’ freedom, and freedom is defined as doing whatever you want, whenever you want — not the ability to choose the good, which is what Jesus and the Founding Fathers meant by freedom. Second is the culture of death: the procreation of a human beings isn’t the introduction of a beautiful new creature into the world, it’s the incarnation of a consuming little succubus that will drain money and time from the parents, and resources from the Earth.
That’s why whenever someone says they’re expecting, I use the only socially gracious response: “Congratulations!”