If your religion teacher had been a mystic, she would have said….

“I want you to know class, I’ve got a touch of the stigmata today so I can’t play kickball at recess. If I fall into ectasy please don’t tape signs to me or clean the erasers in my hair. Just tell Fr. Preston to give me an obedience to snap out of it – that usually does the trick. He’s going to come by at 1 to make sure I am giving you that test and not in spiritual rapture so you’d better be ready. I appreciate the velcro you’ve given me for my shoes – I know the levitation was a little hard to take during study hall. This morning I’ll be explaining the development of Trinitarian doctrine and biolocating next door to do conferences with your parents. Billy, there is a devil sitting on your shoulder. His name is Juju and he’s about to feed you another Twinkie. You’d better stop what you are doing and pray for some self-control.”