Tag: education

Speak up! It’s your responsibility as parent, not the Legion’s

Over at Life After RC, reader MnM raises several concerns about Fr. Maciel and the Legion, how children were victimized by him, questioning why the Holy See didn’t intervene in 2006 with an apostolic visitation when children were potentially at risk. After a little back-and-forth, MnM states that he/she is fearful about speaking out publicly because:

My four children attend an LC school. They range in age from PreK to 8th grade. All LC schools require that the children and their parents sign a contract which gives them power to expel the children on the basis of unfavourable behavior from either the children or the parents. The [powers that be] have an immense amount of power and will not hesitate to use it against dissenters.

I’m not here to pick on MnM. As a parent myself who has been involved with movements that ran astray from the Church, I completely understand what MnM is going through. Additionally, I have heard from other parents going through the same thing, parents who re-enrolled their children thinking Fr. Maciel had fathered only one daughter, but who after a summer of reflection and revelation are now questioning their decision to re-enroll their children in LC/RC schools.
I’m not going to tell you whether to do so or not. Only you as the parent know what is best for your children. That’s up to you to discern with God and your spouse, and to make the decision that is best for your child(ren).
However, you should never fear expressing your concerns to your child’s educators. Both the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Code of Canon Law are clear: parents are the primary educators of their children. This means exactly what it says: the responsibility for your child’s Christian education falls primarily on your shoulders as parents. Therefore, as a Catholic parent, you have both the RIGHT and the OBLIGATION before God to ask questions and demand answers from those who YOU entrust with your child’s education. If you think your children’s Catholic education may be compromised, then you have the same RIGHT and an OBLIGATION before God to act in your child’s best interest.
You assumed this obligation when you chose the vocation of marriage and parent. To validly marry, canon 1055 states a potential spouse must be open to the “procreation and education of children.” As an ecclesiastical judge, I have judged marriages invalid where a spouse was open to the procreation part, but could care less about the child’s upbringing, saying to the other parent: “You wanted the children, you look after them.”
Therefore, if you fear speaking up about matters that concern your child’s education, and if that fear silences you, then you are not living up to your responsibilities of the vocation you chose before God. It’s that simple. You’re not living up to your marriage vows. It is your duty as parent to make the primary decisions about your child’s education. And it’s up to you to act, if you believe your role as parent and primary educator is not being respected or is being undermined.

Be a cofounder to the family God gave you

Over the past week, several Regnum Christi members (both current and past) have shared with me their heart-wrenching experiences as more accusations arise against Fr. Maciel. Most of these Catholic are mothers of families, although some fathers and singles have written me as well. The big question, I keep hearing, is the following: What do we do to help those left behind, those who refuse to believe any of the allegations, and who don’t want to discuss the truth?

Simply put, we pray for them. That’s all we can do. They have had over six months to digest what’s happening, and to make sense of this information. If they still are not ready to do so, or if they have done so and arrived at a conclusion different than your own, or wish to await the outcome of the apostolic visitation, then we must respect their consciences. Perhaps some may still change their minds, at which point they will come to you.
However, don’t remain idle until then. Here is something else you can – and should – do. That something is to become a cofounder and formator to the family God gave you. Your family is your first priority before God. Spend more time with them, enjoy their company and lead them to Christ.
God works in mysterious ways and the message to focus on family was hammered home to me on at least four occasions this week:
1 – The first was Tuesday evening when many of the new accusations against Fr. Maciel were still breaking. I was tempted to work on it well into evening, given the queries I had received, but my wife was physically exhausted. She has held the family together for the past six weeks while I was away doing ministry for all of July and then catching up with my day-to-day apostolate upon my return in August. So she and the baby went to bed, and the other kids and I went to the auto races like I had promised them.
I used the time driving to and from the racetrack to pray several decades of the rosary with my children, teaching my three-year-old the words to the Hail Mary. Come Wednesday morning, the LC/RC still had its problems. However, my wife was feeling rested, my children were telling all their friends what a good time they had, and my three-year-old was running around in a pull-up praying to the Blessed Mother.
LESSON: You have one priority as a parent when it comes to apostolate. That’s your family. Become a cofounder with Christ to the family God has blessed you with.
2 – Had a short conversation sometime this week with a friend of mine who use to dabble with schismatic traditionalism. He has since returned to the Church, but we spent years hammering each other online. However, our conversation this week had nothing to do with traditionalism. We simply exchanged pointers for ministry among friends and family, how to bring them closer to Christ despite the challenges of today’s culture, and how to overcome personal hurts to evangelize. He signed off telling me how spiritually rewarding it felt to be a father to his children, introducing them to their prayers and Church teaching. This is something he never felt as a keeper of liturgical minutiae. Nevertheless, the arguments we engaged in a decade ago are still waging, despite the fact neither of us participates in them any more.
LESSON: There will always be a surplus of apostolate in the outside world, as well as religious arguments and people willing to argue them. So don’t neglect your immediate family and friends.
3 – My parish pastor approached me about starting a catechetical program for young married couples in the parish. “You write for every Catholic publication in Canada and the United States promoting family,” he said. “And you travel all over the place promoting family. But young couples and families in our parish are falling away from the practice of the faith because I have nobody to put together a family religious education program in the parish you attend every week with your own family.” Point well taken.
LESSON: If there’s not enough apostolate in your family to keep you busy, there’s plenty in your local parish.
4 – I was reading one of St. John Chrysostom’s homilies on the New Testament after having read several messages from people discussing how much pressure they had felt to send their children to apostolic schools, or enroll them in this or that apostolate directed toward young people. “Don’t leave your children’s spiritual education to monks,” the Church father and doctor said, before exhorting parents to raise their children in the ways of the Lord.
LESSONS: A) There is much spiritual wisdom and advice in the saints and Church fathers that you can rediscover in your free time. 2) The Church has always recognized parents as the primary educators of their children, particularly in spiritual matters. Don’t neglect your own children’s religious education to boost your checkmarks on the apostolic deeds column.
In the end, pray for those who are taking the news hard, and keep a shoulder open for them to cry on when they need it. However, do a careful examination of your current priorities when it comes to apostolate and the prioritization of your time. Your family should come first. You should first become a cofounder to the family God gave you. This is what Christ has called you to do.