The other day, “Curt Jester” Jeff Miller read Taylor Marshall’s account of how Saint Nicholas of Myra confronted the heretic Arius at the Council of Nicaea (and rearranged his dental work). Well, Jeff wished that there were a Christmas song about the event, so I obliged him:

I saw Santa punching Arius,
in Nicaea where the council met last night;
the bishops were aghast, and the bruise is gonna last:
he seized him with his left hand and then slapped him with the right;
Now the Emperor’s pursuing Nicholas,
and wants to put him in a prison cell;
Probably neither will repent ’til their wrath is fully spent
and the heresy’s condemned to hell.