‘I wasted the best years of my life on a fraud.’

I received the following testimony from a young lady who spent several years as a Regnum Christi consecrated. Her experience speaks for itself, as one shared by many consecrated now grappling with the truth about Fr. Maciel. She has kindly allowed me to share it with Catholic Light readers on condition that her identity remain anonymous:

Moving Through the Bitterness
When I left the consecrated life of Regnum Christi several years ago, I promised myself one thing — I wouldn’t let myself get bitter.
I don’t know why, but it always kind of bothered me how former Regnum Christi members, or brothers leaving the Legion, would dedicate themselves to constructing Internet Web sites that spewed hatred about how the movement and Father Maciel ruined their lives. I guess to me it showed a certain amount of immaturity. I mean, we all make our own decisions in life. We can’t blame others for the paths we take that didn’t turn out as we planned.
While I decided I needed to take a break from the RC scene and find myself, I never officially left the movement, and I never allowed myself to regret the years I spent as a consecrated member of the movement. Those were the best years of my life, I would tell myself and others.
During my post-RC years, every once in a while I’d run into a Legionary, or one of those super-star Regnum Christi members (there are certain members who are truly famous in RC circles), and I’d want to get involved again. I should really get back into the swing of things, I thought. I should join a team or help out an apostolate. I wanted to be in the thick of things. It is, after all, my family! No matter what happens in my life, they will always be there for me, and I’ll be there for them.
Then 2006 happened, and Father Maciel was asked to retire to a life of penance. He’s innocent, I thought. This is just like the persecution he’d always prayed for; Father Maciel is being asked to give the ultimate sacrifice — to die in complete and utter ignominy.
But after 2006, something interesting happened. A veil started to be lifted little by little from before my eyes. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but small aspects about the Legion or RC and its members — things that I always just took in stride — would start to grate on me.
I’d see loyal RC members be assigned to important apostolic posts that they weren’t prepared for just because the Legion knew that in a pinch, they could count on them, and it would annoy me. I’d meet up with an old RC friend of mine who couldn’t bring herself to say anything bad about the Legion or Father Maciel, and I’d come away with a bad taste in my mouth. I’d catch up with an ex-consecrated member of the movement and listen to her experience inside the Third Degree (that’s what the consecrated branch of RC is known as), and wonder why her experience could be so different from mine. I’d look for more information on Father Maciel’s case on the Legion Web site, and only find vocation stories, and wish the Legion would be more transparent.
And then there was a close friend of mine — also a fallen-away RC member, and although she had never been consecrated, she had been involved in RC apostolates for years — and together we’d talk for hours about the Legion and our experiences in RC. We’d go over the good times and the bad times, and convince ourselves at the very end that there was more good than bad. Every organization is going to have some bad elements — it’s just human. Even the Church has bad apples. We can’t be surprised that at some level there is nepotism, favoritism, corruption, etc…
Coincidentally, both of us were having serious doubts about our faith. Both of us were depressed, disillusioned with life and where our paths had brought us. Both of us were angry that the best and most productive years of our lives were behind us, and we didn’t take advantage of them the best we could. We were passing through the most existential of existential crises, and we both refused to believe that all of this could have had something to do with RC and our experiences in it.
Then Father Maciel died. I was sad, but I prayed for him and I tried to see things in a “supernatural light.” (Did you know this is a virtue? It’s the ability to see all events through the light of faith. It’s easy to do, but only if you are able to suspend your reason and critical thinking skills).
I was a little taken back, however, when I read that he died in Florida. I don’t imagine retiring in Florida is what Benedict XVI had in mind when he suggested prayer and penance, but I let it go, as I let so many things go.
But what I couldn’t let go was this feeling that my life wasn’t where it should have been. What I couldn’t let go was that before meeting RC, I had this path I wanted to follow, and I took a detour — almost a decade-long if you count the years it has taken me to come to grips with my experiences. What I couldn’t let go was that I couldn’t go back. I lost a decade of my life, and I couldn’t go back. Your late 20s and early 30s are the most pivotal of your professional and social life, and mine were gone — lost.
And now, as I’m reading about Father Maciel’s love child, and prescriptive drug addiction, and his possible other children, and how he used Legion money to fund his philandering, and how the Legion hierarchy is spinning the truth in order to keep the “mystique” alive, I’m seeing things so clearly. And I’m angry, and I’m disillusioned, and I’m depressed, and, oh yeah, I’m bitter.
I’m bitter because I believed all the lies. I’m bitter because I wasted the best years of my life on a fraud. I’m bitter because people I trusted, people I looked to for guidance, people I admired, lied to me — lied right to my face. They told me stories about what a good man Maciel was, what a saint he was. They taught me to see life through a “supernatural light.” They convinced me that I was doing God’s will, that I had been blessed by God with such a beautiful vocation. They brainwashed me. They used me. And then when I was of no use to them, they threw me away. And then, I thanked them.
I’m bitter because I was loyal. I’m bitter because I wouldn’t let myself turn against them, I refused to see all the red flags that are so obvious to me now. I’m bitter because the movement and those involved in it meant more to me than I meant to the movement. I’m bitter because, in the end, I lost. I lost years, I lost dignity, I lost my way.
As I see it, my anger and bitterness — what I most wanted to avoid — is actually my way out. I’m passing through the grieving process. I’m grieving my lost years, and my lost innocence. No longer the naive 20-something, so eager to do God’s will and ready to sacrifice everything for the cause of Christ, I find myself almost an entire decade older, and an entirely different person. Holier? I wouldn’t say that. Smarter? Tons. Wiser? Time will tell. Ready to move on? You have no idea.

25 comments

  1. Search and search for that fire you had in your heart when you first started on this sad path. Reconnect with that good intention. It’s still there, it’s a gift from God and he doesn’t take that away. Take it out from the basket the Legion tried to smother it with, and let it shine for your family and friends. They need the real you back in their life.
    Everything you did, you did for Christ. That is very precious to him, that he means more to you than your lost youth. And he will never ever forget that.

  2. Thank you for the testimony. This is so similar to my story as an exLC. It is nearly identical to the processes that I have gone through and am going through. The walls didn’t fall down until Feb 2009 for me, but I’ve been experiencing much of what was written here. It’s hard not to get completely disillusioned with the Catholic faith after such an experience, but I am managing to frequent the sacraments regularly and I trust that some interest and zeal for my faith will grow in time.

  3. I have always felt angry over so many basic things they withheld from me. If they had been honest upfront about the strict rules, I know I never would have joined, rather than wasting 5 years of my life before realizing I was being conned by them. I hate the way they work hard to “appear normal” and hide the truth while living a life of hundreds of crazy, controlling rules.

  4. I wonder if she and anybody in that same situation had there eyes fixed on the Creator and not on the created? Your faith may had been shaddered but if your focus is on Jesus You should pick up your cross and continue the road the Lord has in store for you! I will pray for You and many who had such a wicked experience! May He console and restore You to be a Faithful remnant for Him!

  5. I don’t understand this ‘bitterness’.
    You pick a path, you do good works, just because the higher ups are a bunch of no-goods doesn’t mean that all that good you did was wasted.
    If your intentions were good and virtuous and you helped others along the way. Where did you waste your life?
    People always look back on their 20s and think if I knew then what I knew now, which is silly.
    You just had a learning exerience, it didn’t put you in jail or get you addicted to drugs, you did good works for your community and you felt good doing what you did them.
    Forgive and don’t dwell on the bad stuff…it drains away your happiness and that does not come from God.

  6. “I wonder if she and anybody in that same situation had there eyes fixed on the Creator and not on the created? Your faith may had been shaddered but if your focus is on Jesus You should pick up your cross and continue the road the Lord has in store for you! I will pray for You and many who had such a wicked experience! May He console and restore You to be a Faithful remnant for Him!”
    faithful observer,
    The problem is that we had plenty of affirmation from the Vatican, prior to the discipline of MM in 2006, that we all believed that we had found a great way to live out our vocation to evangelize. We had spiritual directors who encouraged us to develop virtue, develop a prayer and sacramental life, and grow as a son or daughter of God. The problems that we encountered were initially so subtle, and we were always given what seemed to be a rational explanation for the accusations from the detractors of LC/RC. Unless you have experienced this kind of manipulation, wanting to think the best of our directors, not wanting to admit that we are being used. To think that these accusations were true, would mean that we had totally been duped, and that didn’t make sense to us. The folks who remain, simply cannot fathom the idea that the people that they respect and depend on for guidance, would participate in such evil acts, as most of the Legionaires and Concecrated are just as innocent as we are, but the time comes when you just have to say that this is where REASON must outdo FAITH and to constantly justify what is happening by saying that you know what the Holy Spirit is doing is presumption. Which is the conclusion that I came to when I disassociated myself from this organization a few months back.

  7. I am so sorry for all these people who were duped, but all those good works and all that prayer can’t be washed away by the corruption of the directors of the LC. Still, I can see why so many people leave the Catholic Church and why so much of what is seen looks more and more like a shiny veneer. To be honest, religion is looking more and more like a hoax. It breaks my heart to wven think it, let alone write it.

  8. The way you have written this really brought me to tears, it is so well expressed. Your experiences so well articulated.
    On one hand you and anyone around the situation of founder feels that sense of being lied to, and it would help as many have said if we could stop with the excuses, and call him for what he is, and from there forgive and move on. So I think the Legion will do well to realize they are the machinery God expects to do that.
    On the other hand, I would not so easily personify this betrayal beyond the founder yet. One, to be honest, needs to see how much was known by who when. I think right now the founder and maybe few high level LCs look guilty. The rest were just caught up in the same controlling mechanisms to preserve unity under the guise of faith at all costs scheme just like you. It is not easily perceived, God did not will it, but he did permit it to be the occasion for some other good that each one needs to discern in prayer for themselves as one of the steps to bring closure.
    Finally, something most people miss, with deep experiences of commitment to a religious ideal where God spoke to you so well, loosing them brings the soul in my estimation through a period of deep spiritual darkness. It is a mourning that will never end, just as you describe, until you make a new beginning that preserves all that is good and noble in your past, while at the same time projecting your life against a lofty ideal in love that can begin to bring you to those experiences of God again. You can love better that what you did before, you can serve better than what you did before, and believe that Christ has in store for you a holiness that is richer and more complete than the period you were consecrated. You are in touch with the real Christ of the Eucharist, when he convinces you the best is yet to come. Enough of that looking back- best years of my life business…Hah.. Get ready to be surprised!! Pray that way, and fight that way and soon you will be living that way.

  9. I’m sorry to say this but I can’t have much sympathy for people who have fallen prey to a cult of personality. Christ warned us often about false prophets and Psalm 146 is such an amazing meditation about this. When I was younger I was a Capuchin, dismayed in the end by their liberalism and failure to live up to any kind of Franciscan ideal, or to even try. I left religious life and nevr looked back. Nevertheless, I am still 100% a faithful and militant Catholic. Christ reigns over ALL. Seek Him and “Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no help. When his breath departs he returns to the earth and on that very day his plans perish.”

  10. I recently went through some hard times when I was thrown out of my seminary, finding out I was in trouble the day I was dismissed. I was shocked, hurt, and scared; after all, what are we supposed to do after we’ve dedicated so much of our time to the Church only to be smacked in the face by some of her members? The pain and the humiliation of the incident remain with me even after the passing of several months. However, I can’t imagine what it feels like to have the words of our Savior used as a tool for manipulation. There just aren’t enough millstones in this world.
    The lesson I learned, however, was the exact opposite of what you learned. I was once a very bitter person, but my dismissal has made me ever more reliant on God and aware that it is He–not Fr. Marciel or any other man–that is the center of my life. I am more dedicated to prayer than ever.
    I have found that my reason has sustained my faith more than anything else during these difficult times. I am lucky enough to have a philosophical background that provides my faith stability in times of weakness.
    I’m sure that the Holy Spirit was present in all of those phony experiences that you had; he just was not present in the way you thought He was. I pray that God grants you the grace He has granted me, to be able to look back in hindsight on the darkest moments of my life and glimpse how He was working in the midst of all the suffering.

  11. It is a tragic story and I extend my heart and prayers to those who have suffered. Unfortunately, in many modern Catholic circles there is a tendency to develop a personal cult around people and very poor spiritual formation. What happened with the Legion is the natural consequences of the disintegration of religious life. There have been so many young people that have had no spiritual guidance and were like lambs without a shepherd to guide them. It is so easy to be deceived by the appearance of good. A major problem with the Legion is that they were not taught how to properly live the spiritual life. There are other modern institutes that also have similar problems (hopefully not as dark). Proper authority is owed obedience because of its position yes. However, if the superior steps outside his proper authority or contradicts the explicit commands of his superior (ie,superior, rule ,pope, God) then his directive is invalid. He does not have authority in that area as he has not received it. There are times when in order to obey the higher you must disobey the lower. The principle is sound- though the application is not always clear. Obviously Fr Marciel did not agree with this for now apparent reasons. Sadly so many were led to think their legitimate concerns or thoughts were sinful or temptations. A man was exalted and it was not Christ. Virtually none of the blame rests on those who were deceived. They were children and someone caused them to stumble. They were promised a fish and received a serpent. That is the danger of poor formation- the food can be deadly. Most of the blame lies upon those who aided the deception and those who did not assiduously study the Legion before approving it.
    However, no suffering or service offered to God is in vain. He wants our hearts and realizes our ignorance and weakness. The eternal value of all work done out of love of God, despite the founder and certain members of the institute who were corrupt, is immensely pleasing to Him. It is all the more so due to the suffering entailed by such innocent and pure souls. After all those who are called to be particularly close to God will be asked to follow Christ bearing their cross. What has made great saints is immense charity not wisdom or knowledge (as good as they are). God uses these things to show us how weak we are and in our brokenness draws us nearer. Only those who realize how weak they are can draw near God as they recognize their need. Such time is not wasted. No doubt the intense emphasis on apostolic works has convinced many that as the works did not bear.That is not the way God views it. We are a seed God plants- in a sense. Sometimes here and sometimes there. He prunes and transplants us. Rarely do we understand why at the time. God has created every human soul in order that they know and love Him. If that is all we do we are fulfilling our purpose admirably. The good works stem from that love. As such they are pleasing to God because we are doing them out of love of Him and those whom He loves. The knowledge and love of God is primary and the good works are secondary (although inextricably contingent upon the first). To view our life as wasted because those buildings we labored to build are now burned is to misunderstood the nature of good works. What will be burned away are impure or selfish desires as His primary concern is the state of our soul. Often in the process many buildings are burned. The elderly priest who is my spiritual director often reminds me that so long as we are truly trying to please God our wills are united with His we are plasing to Him. In such a state nothing is in vain.
    They have understandably been scandalized. Those who have feelings, or vague doubts against the Faith are being tempted. So long as it is not seriously entertained there is no serious sin. Emotions come and go and are not sinful unless given sway. St Bernard told the religious who was tempted to doubt transubstantiation to receive the Holy Eucharist. Those in temptation should avail themselves of the sacraments often and seek a solid spiritual director. If they still feel called to pursue religious life they should by all means- just avoid the dissenting congregations and those which have a spirituality similar to the Legion. Holiness is a lifelong pursuit. I have undergone a similar experience before I was a Catholic. Granted it was not exactly the same and of a different magnitude butv deception by those we trust in religious authority can lead us to have more pity on others and draw closer to God.
    Truth does not contradict Truth. Faith does not contradict Reason so long as the Faith is the Catholic Faith and reason is soundly grounded. Otherwise the names are being misapplied. Sadly the Legion twisted both Faith and Reason so as to think that they can contradict and that one must have faith no matter what their senses tell them. Faith is not a suspension of reason but rather acceptance of what reason can not explain (ie Trinity). There are some things that reason is not able to address (let alone competent).
    God bless.

  12. I wonder how your experience differs from someone married for 10 years–and is a cheerful homemaker with several children–who discovers that her husband had been cheating on her all that time.
    That’s a fairly common experience.
    She’d naturally be bitter, but it wouldn’t call into question marriage, fidelity, good works, the value of good homemaking, having children, etc. (Right?)
    Also, could she reasonably say that she’d wasted the best years of her life? Sure, she’d have to fight off bitterness and disillusionment, but this would be a battle of reason versus emotion (not ‘faith’ versus ‘reason’, as you say).

  13. I am also a former RC person – I started seeing red flags a few years ago and me and my family quickly exited the movement (and were pretty much shunned by everyone still in RC who were upset that we all left…). What I did not know was the extent of the depravity of the founder of this movement – he was a filthy, sick, perverted old man. And those higher ups covered up for him for years – truly only God knows why. The long and short of it is that you cannot base a movement’s spirituality on a man who was completely sinful and breaking pretty much every one of the Ten Commandments. Regardless of how wonderful his spiritual writings supposedly were (I never thought they were…I could not get through a few pages of his life story or his spiritual Envoy books…truly the Holy Spirit protected me) – This movement needs to be shut down – I know there are good priests in LC who were totally innocent and unknowing, and they need to be transferred into an existing diocese or order. I just don’t see how anything can be salvaged when both LC and RC have been completely tainted by this very sick, old man.

  14. It’s not just MM who used and manipulated. Consecrated and LCs can attest to the number of superiors at all ranks who had their favorites, made exceptions for themselves and others, held different people to different standards. They weren’t/aren’t all innoncent. In consecrated life supposedly you are given all your clothes. The directresses chose their own, and in some case went shopping themselves to chose their outfits. Also, we weren’t supposed to mix and match. My directress did, but it was ok for her. Also, we ate at home every night. Our directress ate out with benefactors. Double standard exists throughout. Don’t tell me it’s just Maciel. The entire institution needs to come down.

  15. My wife is a member of RC, who joined within the last couple years. Her experiences have generally been positive, and she is very active on her team and in an apostolate. On the one hand, she is quite shocked about the revelations concerning Fr. Maciel and disappointed in the current LC leadership (at least at the top) for failing to come clean, but on the other hand she likes and admires the LC priests and RC members at the local level. As her husband, I can say that she has developed spiritually in positive ways since joining, though sometimes I fear she is too influenced by opinions she hears by those in authority in RC. (In my case, I’d say that my experiences with LC have been rather mixed.) Here is the dilemma I am facing: though not a member, I am involved in an RC apostolate with my wife, and the question I keep asking myself and my wife is, at what point do we cease being victims of a cover-up and become co-perpetrators of it? In other words, naturally we don’t tell the people whom we want to benefit by this apostolate about the allegations concerning Fr. Maciel or about the possibility that members of LC knew about Fr. Maciel’s actions. We have made non-RC friends through this apostolate; naturally we don’t tell them about the allegations. Do we have a duty to tell them? Placing myself in their shoes, yes, if I were they, I would want to know. I can’t believe that LC/RC are still recruiting in the midst of the current scandal, and to some extent by being part of this apostolate we are participating in this recruitment (even if recruitment is not the main purpose of the apostolate). Still, in general the apostolate has a good aim, and it would create a lot of conflict in my marriage if I were to take a hard line and stop participating in it. My wife has so many friends who are active members of RC; it would hurt her a lot to leave at this point and would make a lot of social situations uncomfortable. From what I can tell, RC is for the most part just proceeding along without major changes. One thing that concerns me is that a lot of the “good” people in RC seem to be relying on the visitation and the Vatican to make the decision and discernment about RC for them, rather than make the decision and discernment themselves with the use of their own freedom.
    Feedback on the above reflections would be appreciated.

  16. (translate portuguese for lang)
    Como Deus fez a madre tereza, Deus dá o tempo do Claro Escuro, assim o Pai tira toda nossa fé, para que construamos um fé inabalavel após isso, não perca suas virtudes, seja forte, não esqueça somos humanos e somos fracos erramos erramos.
    Amai o proximo

  17. It was with some interest, and a lot of sadness, that I read your posting and the subsequent comments. I first met Regnum Christi about 6 years ago. I was enthralled by the sincerety and faith displayed by those that represented it. I went home and carried out the usual internet research on this movement. I recognised the two schools quite quickly. There was one side vociferous in its criticism. These we supported by ex-members or by organisations commonly referred to as liberal or left wing. The other side seemed to be embarassed by publicity and quiet in its web wide call.
    I am a Catholic who was well trained in debate and the techniques of arguement and who has benefited from the great example of devout and loving parents, who, through a violent and challenging period of Irish history raised 7 children who love and grow their faith.
    The modern Ireland is embarassingly eager to through away their faith. I am now a parent who was praying for strength and support; to pass onto my children what I was lucky enough to receive.
    I looked deeper into the question deciding to judge by the fruits. One one side there were some who felt slighted and personally hurt along with a few bodies who had their own agenda. Some examples of this were a campaign to allow priest to marry and for the promotion of contraception among catholics (incidently lead by an Irishman).
    On the otherside I met a group of people who were as close to Christ as I have ever seen or met. There were a few who displayed what seemed to be an unhealthy whorship of the founder. I decided (due to this analysis, to prayer and to what I recognised as Gog’s hand in my life), to become a member.
    There are those who watch baseball because of a pitcher, not the game. That does not make the game worthless. There are those who listen to music because of the lead guitarist. This doesn’t mean the melody is no good. There were those who whorshipped Fr. Maciel and forgot about Christ. This was their failing, not that of the Charism.
    The fruits visible on the Regnum Christi vine are too plentiful to ignore. The charism is too close to Christ to let any man’s failure condemn it.
    Since joining I have not become Christ-like but I am not as far away from him as I was. I am more joyous in my faith and my failings are becoming slightly less dominant. I am not perfect by any means; but thank to the support and my membership of Regnum Christi, should I live long enough I may get a little bit closer. Thank God. I am a work in progress; a human being.
    Regnum Christi is not for everybody. Neither is it based on the failings of one man or even of many. It is a charism of the Holy spirit, faithful to Christ and following the guidance of the Pope. What he decides should happen to members of Regnum Christi I will follow wilingly. It will be God’s hand. The same hand that brought me here in the first place.
    Do not forget the first Pope lied about Christ, denied Christ and abandoned Christ. Do all those who wish to crush the whole of Regnum Christi want to do the same to the one Holy Catholic and apostlic Church next because of the failings of men?
    I can offer you sympathy, prayers, poor advice and little knowledge. But no matter how hurt you feel, I can not offer to follow you; I follow Christ.

  18. Enda,
    And you can follow Christ very faithfully through the Church He founded—yes, the Church he built upon a man who had failed him.
    However, Regnum Christi is NOT the Church, and we are not required in any way, shape, or form to follow this organization which was founded by a deceitful child molester, womanizer, and embezzler.
    Christ founded the Church using a penitent Peter as the rock. Maciel founded the Legion, holding his very UNREPENTANT self up as the model of Christ-like behavior. Do you not see a difference there?
    While I know you don’t mean blasphemy, it truly does seem to me nearly that offensive to continue to compare this organization founded by a fraud to our Holy Mother Church.
    St. Peter was a sinner, yes. But he was NOT a child molesting, womanizing, fraud who lied about his sanctity his entire life (NP said he had never said “no” to God!!!). Moreover, St. Peter was not the founder of the Church.
    If I were to find out Jesus Christ was not God but was a womanizer and a child molester who lied his entire 33 years, you had better believe I’d be out the Church door pronto. To continue to compare Maciel and the Legion to our dear Lord and Holy Mother Church is an outrage.
    Those of us who have been involved with RC/LC in one way or another for many years KNOW how NP was revered. We KNOW how his works and the Bible were the ONLY spiritual reading allowed to the apostolic boys for their spiritual growth. We KNOW how deeply entrenched the LC/RC thoughts are in Maciel, who we now know to be a pervert and a liar.
    We have ever right to be very concerned about this organization in our Church. What reasonable and rational Catholic would NOT be concerned to find out a religious order was founded by a fraud, who twisted virtues into vices so that he could continue a life of debauchery and sexual predation? It’s that twisting of virtues and the way he created the very structure of the order to allow himself to get away with his deceit that is a major concern to many Catholics.
    I wish you nothing but healing and peace through this process, but you probably should get prepared to hear a whole lot more about this because concerned Catholics are not going to let this issue go. We are worried about our children, family, and friends. And it’s not only us—more and more church hierarchy are getting wind of the fact all is not well in the order Maciel created.

  19. Oh, I meant to add: I am not pro-contraception and pro-priests marrying. In fact, NONE of the people I personally know who are very concerned about this LC/RC mess are in any way against Church teaching. It is precisely because we love our Church that we are so very offended by the way Maciel and the Legion have besmirched her.
    Maciel was the originator of that, by the way—the painting of critics of the Legion as “liberals” and enemies of the Church. And this precisely illustrates what I was mentioning in my previous post. The LC/RC members–even the rank-and-file–are entrenched in Maciel’s ways of thinking at such subconscious levels they don’t even KNOW they are messed up by him. That is what is most frightening of all.

  20. I will pray for you.
    Remember that the promises you made while in the RC Movement were not to the Movement or Father Maciel, the promises you made were to Christ.
    Christ is with you, and loves you, and never gives up on you regardless of how you feel; regardless of your bitterness.
    Find in your heart the ability to forgive – feeling bitter only hurts you, not them.
    Forgive one more time – let it go and simply stick with our Beloved Christ.
    God Bless!

  21. I went through the same process of bitterness and betrayal, but isn’t forgiveness a virtue? Isn’t there a saying, “love the sinner but hate the sin?” I learned forgiveness during Easter week and I’m so happy I did. This article is not helpful because it teaches no virtue, it’s a story of hate. I do feel sorry for those who feel betrayed, but really, do we have to spread slander throughout the world-wide web? I’ll pray for anyone who still needs the gift of forgiveness, I pray for all of you

  22. Maciel always demanded excessive loyalty from the movement. Now I know better. As a wise man once said “when someone asks me for loyalty I give him integrity; when he asks for integrity, I give him loyalty.”

  23. I am so sorry about your lived experience, I’m penetecostal. There is one question I’m asking myself and this is my statement. Jesus made the sacrifice and died for us, he said it is done and finished. Who is man to try to complete his work and make again another sacrifice. Rejoice and share the joy of Jesus given life. Wish you knowledge of peace and love , the unconditional one

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.