St. Blog Capital Campaign?

I’m not on the Parish council of St. Blog’s, but think it’s a appropriate to open the floor for discussion of launching a St. Blog Capital Campaign. The financial needs of the parish I see are as follows:
Development of a Crying Room for all the whiners who complain about my posts.
Installing Organ Pipes near my computer workstation to enhance overall sound quality
Removal of ads from all bona-fide Catholic blogs (we’ll need a Catholic Blog Inquisition.. er… Review Committee to make sure the blogs are legit.)
Upgrades to Blogger Pro for all Bloggers receiving > 1,000 hits per day.
Catholic Outreach: Buying Mark Shea’s, Amy Welborn’s and Michael Dubruiel’s books and air-dropping them over wayward Catholic institutions such as all Jesuit residences in the USA.
I will personally smack anyone who says we need to remove the communion rail. Seriously – I will look you up on four11.com, find you, and smack you.